Email Author Wm. Stage

2002 Stories by Wm. Stage

• Do You Believe There's a Guardian Angel Watching Over You?

  published December 25, 2002

  Baby Jake Musician "With all the bonehead stunts I did back in high school, like driving erratically, trying to piss the... More >>

• What Would You Order in a Vegetarian Restaurant?

  published December 18, 2002

  Beth Flowers Circus Performer "I'd start off with a salad of grass clippings -- make that zoysia grass -- with pesto... More >>

• Are There Any Heroes Left, and Where the Heck Are They?

  published December 11, 2002

  Lynda Daniels Homemaker "There's no heroes in real-life. There's our police -- they're hypocrites -- and the... More >>

• Which Slogan or Catchphrase Annoys You to the Point of Nausea?

  published December 4, 2002

  Jess Dewes Greeting-Card Designer "'Open every day but the "Lard's Day"' -- Goedeker's Superstore. That slogan keeps me... More >>

• What Stinks the Most?

  published November 27, 2002

  Jeff Freed Owner, Big Bear Grill "I'll tell you what stinks, is the sportswriters in this town. You've gotta wonder if... More >>

• The Pretenders

  published November 20, 2002

  Of all the phony war heroes and Green Beret wannabes he's exposed over sixteen years of amateur sleuthing, the case of Louis Paul Rolofson Jr. is... More >>

• How Much Choice Did God Have When He Constructed the Universe?

  published November 20, 2002

  Reverend Paul Spielman Pastor, St. John Nepomuk Catholic Church "The theological answer is, since God is all good, he... More >>

• Why Are You Such a Knucklehead?

  published November 13, 2002

  David Muccigrossa Sophomore, Priory School "I'm a knucklehead because I like to screw around and my teachers just, like,... More >>

• HoJo Mojo

  published November 6, 2002

  Simple Simon and the Pieman, once a beacon to American motorists that promised good food and predictable hospitality, have lost their allure. The... More >>

• If You Were to Croak in Your Residence, How Long Before Somebody Would Find You?

  published November 6, 2002

  Thomas "Jaja" Carter Hairstylist, Billy's Headhunters "Oh man, ask me something else -- that's morbid! But you... More >>

• Is It Sexual Harassment When One Guy Taunts Another in the Workplace, Even If Neither Is Gay?

  published October 30, 2002

  Vera Trolf Pro-Bowler Chaperone "Sexual harassment is an equal-opportunity situation for all genders -- man, woman,... More >>

• For the Defense

  published October 23, 2002

  There are times when even the hottest defense lawyer in town knows his best isn't going to be good enough, a tense moment of clarity accompanied... More >>

• What's Your Favorite Crime to Commit?

  published October 23, 2002

  Jay H. Yoon Sushi Chef, Cha Yoon Elixir & Tea Bar "Anything that involves money -- as long as I don't get... More >>

• Is It Un-American to Question the President's War Plans?

  published October 16, 2002

  Davy Rothbart Publisher, Found magazine "Americans by fourteen and a half -- that's the point... More >>

• How Readily Do You Turn the Other Cheek?

  published October 9, 2002

  Hudson Harkins Entertainer, Hudson and the Hoodoo Cats "Depends on whether I'm getting kissed or slapped." Lisa... More >>

• How Much Can You Eat?

  published October 2, 2002

  Kathy Bosin Rowing Enthusiast "When I was in Maine, working on a construction project, I ate seventeen lobsters in one... More >>

• If You Could Walk a Mile in Anybody's Shoes, Whose Would They Be?

  published September 25, 2002

  Chuck Nowakowski Bassist, Tory Z. Starbuck Band "I'll say Harry Truman, because he's the only guy who ever had to use a... More >>

• Who Would Win in a WWE-Style Smackdown Between Jerry Berger and Julius Hunter?

  published September 18, 2002

  Ron Gagg Social Worker "Julius Hunter -- he's tougher, he has more grit. On the news a few weeks ago, he was going off... More >>

• What Would Happen If the Earth Suddenly Began Rotating in the Opposite Direction?

  published September 11, 2002

  Marcus McDonald Preschooler, St. Michael School "Oh, Superman would come and stop that, and then he would tape the world... More >>

• What Was Your Favorite Toy Then? Now?

  published September 4, 2002

  Eileen Cervantes Agent, East Bank Realty "In the '60s TV show Family Affair, little Buffy had a doll named Mrs.... More >>

• Choppy Waters

  published August 28, 2002

  For five years, the Forest Park boathouse was the perfect spot for kicking back on a weekend evening -- sitting at a table sipping a cold beer or... More >>

• How Will You Feel When America Finally Invades Iraq?

  published August 28, 2002

  Chris Webster Roofing Contractor "Oh boy! I don't think they should do it. He's a dictator, yeah -- there's dictators... More >>

• Are You Confused About Anything?

  published August 21, 2002

  Sheila Roberts Server, Olympia Taverna & Kebob House "At a certain time of day, every day, my two little boys run around... More >>

• Are You Confused About Anything?

  published August 14, 2002

  Lisa Pitler Manager, Sage & Spirit "OK, I am confused about people who pretend to be things they're not and why they... More >>

• Who or What Saved Your Life?

  published August 7, 2002

  Tiesha Jones Clerk, Federal Reserve Bank "My brother, Larry Jones. We had a big ol' disagreement about something that... More >>