So you're lounging on the futon, flipping channels on your cable-free TV, waiting for the commercials between 3rd Rock
to run their course, when you stumble across Luther Campbell leering and lisping his way through his booty-bass magnum opus "It's Your Birthday" on Channel 58. What the --- when did the Box start playing Luke again? That's when you notice the crawler across the bottom of your throbbing TV: "We are not the Box! You are watching Retrovision
-- which airs weeknights from 11 p.m.-1 a.m. -- featuring the best videos from the '80s through the middle part of the '90s. Please phone in your request." Oh, snap! You think they have Whodini's "The Freaks Come Out at Night?" Oh, they have it all right. They also have a ceiling-mounted camera in their control booth, broadcasting the goofy antics of the two middle-aged white engineers who field your calls, program your video choices and rock the mic with your "shouts going out" to all your boys and girls. Retrovision
comes across like the head-on collision between a high- school A/V club production of Outer Limits
and 1988-era Yo! MTV Raps!
, proving that the people have a much better idea of what they want to see than the brain trust over at MTV does.