Best Non-News Event That Received Saturation Coverage - 2002
Hell's Angels party, Kountry Corner Tavern, Millstadt, Illinois, June 15, 2002
We slipped in on Hondas just as the free beer ran out but, unfortunately, not before the band finished a selection of favorites from the '70s. There were a few drunk people, but they were silly, let's-take-off-our-shirts drunk. Not once did we even catch a whiff of weed. And it was well past midnight before we saw our first bared breasts. We asked their owner's boyfriend whether he minded if we shook her hand. "Hell, you can lick her -- if you want," he answered. The media was gone by then. This was classic babysitting duty and an all-too-familiar storyline for Fritz Clapp, the Angels' lawyer, who has taken to saying "That's Mister Gonorrhea to you" whenever he tells someone what he does for a living.
"It's always 'Lock up your women and children,'" Clapp sighs.