How does a gal who handles collections for one of the stuffiest law firms in town end up with dozens of dildos, a 2002 Infiniti I35, DVD players, Rolexes and enough cash to shower more than one beau with gifts? The old-fashioned way, of course: She embezzles it. Forty-six-year-old Kelly Layne Mullins set up a dummy collections company and submitted invoices from the firm to her employer, Bryan Cave. Over approximately a five-year period, Mullins allegedly laundered nearly $1.7 million from the firm before they finally caught on. Not only did she buy more sex toys with lights on the tips than any one person could possibly need, she also purchased cases of popcorn, exercise equipment that she probably needed to work off the popcorn, and lots of purses -- maybe for carrying all that extra cash. In federal court in August, Mullins pleaded guilty of wire fraud and making false statements on her income-tax return. Sentencing is set for October 24.