Best Sports Enigma - 2006
David Eckstein's At-Bat Music
It's no surprise that St. Louis loves David Eckstein. The wee shortstop's sheer hustle more than makes up for what he lacks in power, speed or just about any generally accepted marker of baseball skill. His courtship of Blue Collar TV star Ashley Drane was notable for his old-fashioned belief in the sanctity of marriage. Hell, even his honey-nut toasted-oat cereal, EcksO's, is wholesome. Which is why it's always such a shock when he strides to the plate to "Number One Spot" by Ludacris, a.k.a. "That Rap Where Ludacris Samples the Theme from Austin Powers" a track so lame that if you listen closely, you can hear Ludacris strangling the A&R guy who suggested releasing it as a single. Why, David? Is it the memory of Mike Myers vamping through multiple comic roles that sends you chugging from first to home on a bloop single? Does your energy peak as you imagine the beautiful Ms. Drane dressed as a Fembot? Or is it a joke? "Number One Spot" because you bat leadoff? In that case, we get it. Ha. Ha ha. Or is the joke on us? We love your hustling homebody charm, but secretly you're a wannabe gangsta? Really, we're certain of only one thing: It's the radio-friendly version of "Number One Spot" blasting over the Busch speakers. You have a reputation to uphold, after all.