Trey Parker might have been feeling sarcastic when he wrote the lyrics, "Bed, Bath & Beyond, fuck yeah," but those were the exact words that came to mind when we arrived at St. Louis Mills, a mall that induces one heartfelt expletive after the next. The Mills is home to big-box stores such as Old Navy and Cabela's (see "Best Gun Shop"), factory-outlet fashion by Banana Republic and Tommy Hilfiger, specialty shops (Rasta gear, stuff made in Missouri) and entertainment that will drain your pockets faster than you can drink an Orange Julius. It's all connected under one roof but organized by "neighborhood." When you see the bright colors of the playground in the distance, you're about to enter a zone where kids and teens rule. You could stay away, but then you wouldn't find the Skechers store, the glowing mini-golf course or the NASCAR SpeedPark, which is a cornucopia of rides and games in itself. Food court, check. Movie theater, check. Large carousel with horsies, double check. The Mills also has a public skating rink, where the St. Louis Blues practice. Hockey and handbags in the same trip? Uh, fuck yeah!