Indisputable fact: Single men can't dress themselves. OK, sure, some men can dress themselves just fine, but you know what we call them? Vain. And you're looking for a man who will be all about you. What better way to snag one grateful dude than to show him that there is a world beyond Cardinals T-shirts and flat-front Dockers? Here's what you do: Pretend you're shopping for a birthday gift for your younger brother. Don't look for a guy who has already picked out something unfortunate. He'll probably get defensive when you criticize his choices, and the last thing you need is a(nother) passive-aggressive asshole. Instead keep your eyes open for a guy who looks like he's stumbling through the back alleys of a country where he doesn't speak the language and someone stole his traveler's checks. Signs this is your man: He'll pick up and put down the same sweater at last three times. He'll circle a trendy designer's jeans display then head toward the store-brand display. Wander in that direction. Smile sympathetically at him. Say, "It's hard, isn't it? That's why my brother has his girlfriend and me shop for him." Maybe the guy will mumble something and then walk away. Chances are, though, he'll sigh, "That must be nice." Go in for the kill. "What are you looking for? Maybe I can help you narrow down your choices." At that moment, if he's like 99 out of 100 single men, what he's looking for comes in your size, exactly.
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