Where to start with Brian Nieves? Well, here are some things he's done in the past twelve months or so: He allegedly assaulted and threatened a political opponent's campaign manager who stopped by his office to congratulate him on his election win. He called a semiautomatic rifle a "Nancy Pelosi special." When retired teacher Tom Smith came into his office to discuss education policy, Nieves called him a "fucking prick" and a "fucking pussy" and, finally, "a "piece of fuck." Then, in a letter to Washington's Missourian, Nieves wrote that Smith had "sneering, evil eyes." Nieves also introduced legislation that would take away the press corps' parking and office privileges in the capitol and made the Southern Poverty Law Center's "Dirty Dozen" list of people trying to strip citizenship from U.S.-born children of immigrant parents. And finally, lest we forget, he once referred to waterboarding, a torture technique, as "a little water in their face." All pretty awful. But even beyond his nefarious posturing, what makes Nieves the best villain in Missouri is the waterfall of entertainment he brings to the table. There's the way he screams and points into the camera during campaign ads: "Federal government, Barack Hussein Obama, leave us alone!" There's his generous use of all caps and exclamation points on his Facebook page. And we have to admit we're kind of proud of the way he orders his followers to "IGNORE the RFT." Yeah, he's a jerk, but there is no greater source of unintentional comedy in the state.
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