"Hey, Joann. Turn it up!" the man sitting next to Fucker's owner says to the bartender. He gets up and walks to the jukebox. Joann the bartender complies.
Finally! Rockin' Gator's is gonna rock!
He plays "Hoedown Throwdown" by Miley Cyrus.
"What the hell is this shit?" Fucker's owner screams over the blaring music when Miley gives way to Merle Haggard's "Think I'll Just Stay Here and Drink".
This shit is what's supposed to play in a bar, as opposed to what's played at a junior high dance.
Joann the bartender resembles Penelope, the lying, one-upping Saturday Night Live character, with a quiet drawling voice that trails off at the end of her sentences. Except she doesn't show any signs of hubris or dishonesty. She chats at length, asking questions and offering the latest on her 16-year-old son and his new car. She doesn't twirl her hair, though.
"It's really not usually this quiet," she says. "There's usually more people here. I usually work on Saturdays."
She drops the last word from each sentence.
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