an advertisement for the new "Red Velvet Cupcake Cappuccino"
at Circle K convenience stores. Because I love you and want to spare you the horror that would follow should you succumb to morbid curiosity, I walked to the Circle K located near Gut Check International Headquarters and ordered one myself.
First, the color. Oh, God, the color. I guess it's supposed to be "red," as in red velvet, but of course this mixes with the brown of the "cappuccino" to create a color I'll call "partially healed scab."*
As to the flavor, well, I'm sure you're shocked to learn that it tastes nothing like a cappuccino or even anything remotely espresso- or coffee-based. It doesn't taste like cake, either, red-velvet or otherwise. What it does taste like is liquefied frosting, possibly with an extra dose of sugar of the Pixy Stix variety.
It's basically irrelevant whether this drink -- I refuse to call it a cappuccino any longer, even with the quotation marks -- even has coffee in it. By the time you crash, the sugar high will have lasted as long as a caffeine high.
* - Crayola! Call me!
Yesterday I posted a picture of