It's no secret that Gut Check is super excited about Ben & Jerry's Schweddy Balls ice cream. While we're positive there's no better addition to ice cream than fudge-covered rum and milk chocolate malt balls filled with the essence of Alec Baldwin, we decided to take a look at the Saturday Night Live archives and see what other food marketing gold our civilization might be missing.
Smoothies weren't a big deal in the '70s. Not like they are today, with people investing in Vitamix blenders with enough horsepower to keep a fishing boat afloat. It's high time to make the Bassomatic available to consumers, perhaps as a tie-in with Dan Akroyd's vodka. Basso-daiquiris for everyone!
Justin Timberlake's in the restaurant business. Why in the hell hasn't he made Omeletville a reality?
Fiber supplements have gotten so damn fancy, what with Metamucil and the like running commercials with models and pretty colors on their packaging. What they neglect to mention is that fiber exists for one purpose: to make people poop, which they would do naturally if they didn't eat like crap. Let's get back to reality. Let's get some Colon Blow.
Forget the torta ahogada - it's not wrapped in a deep-dish Chicago-style pizza! You can only get that at Taco Town.
Yeah, there's a "better burger" chain named Cheeburger Cheeburger after the classic SNL sketch. That's where the resemblance ends. The burger chain is more faux '50s diner than Chicago Greek -- and it has fries.
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