, the Frito-Lay marketing executive credited with creating the Doritos brand of tortilla chips, passed away
last week at the age of 97. His family plans to sprinkle his urn with Doritos before covering it with dirt.
Gut Check can't think of a better tribute to the man whose creation has sated our cravings for a salty, cheesy, crunchy snack more often than we care to admit. In his honor, after the jump, we present the three best flavors of Doritos, the one flavor that must return and the one flavor that must stop besmirching the beloved Doritos name.
The Three Best Doritos Flavors
3. Nacho Cheese
The default Doritos chip, its tangy flavor is perhaps most responsible for entire generations of Americans misunderstanding what cheese actually is and what it should taste like. No matter. Taken on its own, the finger-caking red-orange powder that seasons Nacho Cheese Doritos is snacking perfection.2. Taco
After teasing Doritos lovers with the pothead-baiting "Tacos at Midnight" flavor a few years ago, Doritos recently brought back the original Taco flavor. We frankly have no idea what makes this flavor so addicting -- it doesn't really taste like an Americanized taco, with ground beef, cheese, etc. -- but we suspect it's that it appeals to every kid's secret desire to rip open a packet of taco seasoning and down it whole.
1. Cool Ranch
Someone somewhere -- it might not have been anyone at Frito-Lay; the true hero might be lost to the annals of history -- once had a simple, brilliant idea: Since people love the flavor of ranch dressing so much, why not do away with the pretense of salad or vegetables to dip. The point of ranch dressing is ranch dressing. Cool Ranch Doritos are the apotheosis of this idea, pure tang and spice. We've been known to eat an entire bag of these in one sitting -- and still want more.
The Flavor That Must Return
A few years ago, Black Pepper Jack Doritos hit the stores, and it was all we could do not to buy out the entire stock. They were a beautiful marriage of black pepper's edge and the fiery chile heat of pepper jack cheese. If anyone knows where we can get some, please let us know. Expiration date be damned.The Flavor That Must Go
What the hell is an "All-Nighter Cheeseburger"? A cheeseburger dosed with Red Bull and/or Viagra? More importantly, chips (potato, tortilla or other) shouldn't taste try to taste like meat. Ever. We won our independence from the British explicitly so we wouldn't have to eat roast beef-and-onion or prawn-cocktail "crisps." Don't backslide now!