It wasn't all that long ago that Gut Check was donning our finest
Disney princess Star Wars character drag outfit and joining the swarms of greedy American children on the hallowed Halloween quest for candy. So we remember well the post-trick-or-treat ritual of sorting the bounty into two piles, i.e., Good Stuff and Crap.
Then we'd head back out and t.p. all the houses where we'd been handed lame candy. We considered the act to be a hint to the clueless to maybe bust out the Snickers next year instead of those execrable homemade popcorn balls. A community service, if you will.
Now we're on the other side of the door, trick-or-treatily speaking, and we're also working from a position of strength when it comes to stamping out Halloween-candy imbecility.
Want to avoid having your happy home t.p.'ed this year? Check back each weekday between now and the Big Day as we count down the 21 Best Halloween Treats and the 21 Worst Halloween Treats...
Best Halloween Candy Countdown, No. 17: Blow Pops Unlike many of the suckers found in trick-or-treat bags on Halloween, Blow Pops actually taste like something. You get exactly what their '90s commercial promised: fruit flavored candy on the outside, bubble gum on the inside. By far the best part of Blow Pops is crunching through the thin candy layer left over the bubble gum center, turning the admittedly hard, flavorless gum into a tangy, crunchy delight. And though that gum center is barely good for one bubble, we'll be damned if we don't try for two.
Click through to reveal No. 17 on the Worst Halloween Candy list...
Worst Halloween Candy Countdown, No. 17: Hot Tamales It's not that Hot Tamales are completely terrible, but pulling a box of these out of your trick-or-treat sack is like pulling out a frown. Halloween booty is supposed to be chocolatey, sweet or sour -- not a sinus-clearing blast of cinnamon. Hot Tamales are like the misguided spawn of Mike and Ikes and Red Hots. They got all of mom's looks but dad's bad temper. Come on neighbors, if you picked up the Hot Tamales, you were obviously right by the Mike and Ikes. Was this punishment for stepping on your lawn?
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