As Easter Sunday creeps closer, Gut Check dreams of baskets piled high with pastel-colored candies, chocolate shaped like baby animals and, oh sweet Jesus, Cadbury eggs. We remember well the ritual of sorting the bounty bestowed by the big, weird Easter Bunny: Would it be good stuff...or crap?
Want to avoid the inevitable disappointment of unsatisfying, subpar Easter candy? Check out our take on the five worst Easter treats, with a retrospective of the five best Easter candies to follow tomorrow.
Cluckers, the Gumball-Egg-Pooping Chicken Perhaps because we're not a six-year-old boy, Gut Check fails to see the charm in animal-shaped candy dispensers that poop brown jelly beans. Frankly, we don't get it.
When Cluckers the egg-laying chicken (note: inexplicably not labeled a hen?) takes a dump, at least she shits colorful Hubba Bubba bubblegum Easter eggs. To provoke Cluckers' biological urges, the user must twist off her head, insert four eggs in her chute, replace her head and wind her up.
Although the label is very specific that the "dispenser is for the provided gum balls only," nowhere on the packaging nor parent company Wrigley's website will you be able to find information on how to get more specially shaped eggs. More dauntingly, the label also warns: "Please wash dispenser thoroughly before use." Who knows where this thing's been!
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