The War on Christmas is upon us! Time to take sides! Did you know there was a War on Christmas? There is! Us Godless heathens are burning all the mangers, or at least politely asking that they not be forcibly erected (oh, I said it) in public spaces.
But you know what? Fine. You want a War on Christmas? We'll give you a freakin' War on Christmas. We here at RFT Music actually really enjoy the Holidays, what with the lights and goodwill and family bonding and gift exchanging and such. Still, there is no shortage of ammunition out there: Christmas has moved pretty far from a very meaningful parable about a baby in a manger. So here it is, our ten part War on Christmas battle cry.
10. Oscar the Grouch - "I Hate Christmas" Hating Christmas is such a pervasive sentiment that surly characters from more than one children's show sing about it. "Sesame Street's" Oscar the Grouch goes beyond simply waxing poetic about the holidays, though; he actually puts his words into action. Oscar "takes presents back from you," ruins a street band's concert and vows to tell Santa "where to put his toys." That's Christmas cheer we can endorse. (Allison Babka)
9. Zebrahead - "Deck The Halls (I Hate Christmas)" Unless you went to Warped Tour in 2001, the name Zebrahead probably means nothing. The band was like Limp Bizkit if you replaced the nu-metal with pop punk, so nobody is expecting a thoughtful Christmas diss with "Deck The Halls (I Hate Christmas)." But this track is more pervasive than it seems. One listen through, and the phrase "I hate Christmas" will seem like the natural follow-up to "Tis the season to be jolly" the same way that "Jingle bells" will always lead into "Batman smells." And the mid-song rap, which 99 times out of 99 is a bad idea, works as a riff on "Twas The Night Before Christmas," if only because Santa is quoted asking "Where the ladies at?" (Ryan Wasoba)
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