Do you know why Lance Berkman was, empirically speaking, the single most badass Cardinal of the past decade? (Yes, empirically. It's been scientifically proven.)
No, it wasn't the awesome soundbites he routinely handed out or his wicked sense of humor. On-field exploits? Ha! Don't make me laugh. It wasn't even the mullet, paragon of all that we St. Louisans hold sacred.
What made Lance Berkman the baddest-ass badass of all badasses was his walk-up music. Most guys don't put much thought into the song they want played when they come to bat. Lance Berkman clearly did, and when you heard the angelic, apocalyptic strains of Johnny Cash's "God's Gonna Cut You Down" echoing through Busch Stadium, everyone in creation knew who was up.
Walk-up music is a funny thing, you know. It's easy to overlook and just take it for granted as part of the scenery. If it is noticeable, it's usually because the player coming to bat has chosen something that proclaims loudly to everyone in the stadium just how lousy his taste is. But every once in awhile, a guy gets it just right. Ryan Ludwick with "Brass Monkey". David Eckstein picking "Number One Spot" by Ludacris, proving no matter how limited Eckstein's abilities as a player were, he knew how to make an entrance.
So here are a few suggestions for the men of the diamond, for any players who might be mulling over what song they would like people to associate with their name at the ballpark. Five, to be exact. Players, take note. Choose from this list, and your name will go down in the annals of baseball history. Guaranteed.
5. "Simon Says" by Pharoahe Monch
OK, so language could be a little bit of a problem on this one as "get the fuck up" isn't the most family-friendly of sentiments. (Though one could argue it's a fitting one, considering the occasional tendency toward over-politeness of Cardinal crowds.) Still, a little creative editing could totally get around that.
It's got one of the all-time great samples in rap history, using the original score from Godzilla to masterful effect. (Though that particular bit of brilliance also led to the record going out of print, so you win some, you lose some.) What player doesn't want to scream, "King Kong ain't got shit on me!" after getting a big hit? This song says it for you.
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