Most people who meet me learn within about 30 minutes that I'm in a state of constant agony. Not because of some sort of tragic childhood or traumatic physical ailment, but because I have television commercials circa 1987 to 2000 stuck in my head at all times. The word "bucket" triggers the song about the children's toy, Mr. Bucket, to play in my head. The term "crossfire" sparks that shrieking hair-metal song for the children's toy of the same name.
Because misery loves company, I've compiled a list of sixteen gross offenders that have used popular songs and altered their lyrics to fit advertising campaigns. Try and make it through each one without head-butting your computer, and be grateful that I left out Christmas songs so that you don't end up absorbing the Fruity Pebbles version of "Deck the Halls."
16. McDonald's - "Do You Believe in Magic" by The Lovin' Spoonful
The uploader of this video, "PeeToons," actually puts it best: "Nasty McDonald's ad with children singing a horrible song. Ronald sings, too. It's awful. Source: Crappy VHS!" Just to let you know, the Lovin' Spoonful is still around, in case you feel like dropping by a show to yell "Play the fucking McDonald's song!" until you are ejected from the coffee shop.
15. Dr Pepper - "Bad Case of Loving You" by Robert Palmer
This website doesn't allow embeds, so you'll have to click here to enjoy this gem. This guy dropped his budding orchestra career and got really screwed up on Dr Pepper. Have fun hearing a magical xylophone for the rest of your life whenever the original version comes on.
14. Pepsi - "California Sun" by the Rivieras
WARNING: GILBERT GOTTFRIED APPEARANCE
So, alright -- it didn't add the lyrics. But now when I hear this surf anthem all I can think of is that arm motion and "Pepsi -- gotta have it!"
13. Cool Whip - "Cool Jerk" by the Capitols
I tried to eat all of the hair off of my arms after my brain broke, upon seeing that little girl in front of the pond do the Pulp Fiction dance.
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