Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Six Punk Bands We Don't Need To Talk About Anymore

Posted By on Tue, Nov 12, 2013 at 8:51 AM

We really, really don't need to discuss Social Distortion. Really. - PRESS PHOTO
  • Press Photo
  • We really, really don't need to discuss Social Distortion. Really.

I have an embarrassing tendency to bait people into conversations where I just talk about cool things I am doing. Surprise, right? While it likely stems from being bored with hearing of the mundane achievements of others (babies, crappy jobs, cars), there is a part of me that figures it must stem from some sort of deep-seated masochism -- the same way I used to force myself to watch My Super Sweet 16. Without fail, the conversation switches to traveling, music, or some other trite nonsense and the question arises:

"Oh, what kind of band are you in?"

See Also: "Punk" Band Makes Sex Video On Westboro Baptist Church Property, Still Sucks (NSFW)

Look, explaining you're in a punk band sucks -- it's like telling people you're a chef. Most people think they know a thing or two about it, and the resulting conversation is maddening. It hurts for everyone involved, as slowly the attempt to bond over art turns into an insecure namedropping contest. So for the sake of all of us, here are six punk bands we simply don't need to talk about.

1. The Clash [Editor's note: I am diving out of the way on this one; Drew, you can take the heat. The Clash rules, just sayin'.]

I'll be honest with you: I haven't really listened to much of the Clash because a lot of punks who wear hats with chains on them seem to be big fans. Plus, everything I've read about the band basically states it formed with the intention of latching on to the Sex Pistols' success. But in the interest of journalistic integrity, I am listening to some songs now -- and I still think they suck, with the exception of some live stuff. Reggae is gross and bad English punk sounds like Andrew Lloyd Webber. Oh and if that's not enough, Bono once called the Clash the most influential band on U2's sound.

Lets talk about these bands instead:

'70s Regional Alternatives: Desperate Bicycles The Stranglers Buzzcocks The Damned Ultravox

2. Social Distortion

Social Distortion is just Good Charlotte for people who wear flames on their clothes. Punk rock mixed with car culture is like going to the zoo with a bazooka - a funny concept with unforgivable results.

Why don't we talk about these bands instead?:

Southern California Punk That Doesn't Encourage Dice Tattoos Channel 3 VOM Agression The Dickies The Weirdos

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