Friday, March 28, 2014

Ten Walking Raver Cliches You Meet at Ultra Music Festival

Posted By on Fri, Mar 28, 2014 at 3:06 AM

Photo by George Martinez

Ravers are like snowflakes, right?

Wrong. It's actually not uncommon to find two (or twelve) who look (and sometimes behave) almost exactly alike.

In fact, we've spent a lot of time wandering around EDM fests in a state of perpetual déjà vu, encircled by thousands of party people who seem to be nearly identical human copies of specific stock types.

Here, for instance, are ten walking raver cliches you meet at Ultra Music Festival (kicking off this weekend in Miami).

Photo by Ian Witlen

The Bro He always wears shorts. He often rocks an obnoxious tank. And he's made many questionable facial hair choices. But close your eyes and the bro can still be identified by his especially dexterous use of the word bro, bro. He may employ it as a friendly term of endearment, as in, "Want a massage, bro?" Or a verb, as in, "We are bro-ing so hard right now!" Or even an expression of surprise and amazement, as in, "Oh! Whoa! Broooooo!"

Photo by George Martinez

The Kandi Kid A PLUR-tastic mystic once told us that "these beads are magic." And admittedly, at the time, it sounded like a bunch of hazy-minded hokum. But after several trips to Ultra land, we are kinda-sorta beginning to believe that covering one's body (especially the forearms and face) in rainbow-colored plastic finery just might have life-sustaining and age-defying effects. After all, the kandi kid is among the oldest raver types still found 'round EDM fests. Yet these bead-bedecked wonders never seem any older than a wide-eyed, rosy-cheeked fifteen.


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