Thursday, November 6, 2008

Popular Ways to Fill the Post-Election Void

Posted By on Thu, Nov 6, 2008 at 10:26 AM

A day after the day after the election -- there are a few things on the minds of Americans: 1. Is there such a thing as post-election depression? And 2. What can I do to get me out of this post-electoral funk? Without arguing, preaching, shouting or insulting people over candidates, some may find themselves a bit lost.

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A few popular suggestions on how to fill the void, in no particular order:

Argue with fans of James Bond over which Bond girl looked the best in a bikini.

Try to predict how the stock market will fare with Obama as president.

Avoid getting dumped into a compacting garbage truck -- at all costs.

Stay away from vending machines.

Clear your mind and go jogging. Just watch out for any rabid foxes that may clamp down on your arm with their jaws.

Get back to talking about the lives of celebrities and the creepiness of Tom Cruise.

Work on your golf game, but you'll never be as good or lucky as this golfer.

Do what many Americans find themselves doing during a national event, good or bad -- baby-making. Here's one name that's going to become very popular.

Spend those hours with an old friend -- TV -- but with a new spin. Instead of having pundits shout at you on how to vote, play shoot-em-up video games that feature "a team of alpha males who must wade through a sea of inconsequential enemies in an attempt to save the world." It's sort of like the campaign.

And if none of those things sound appealing to you, just relish that fact that it may be, despite almost a decade of decline, "cool" to be American again.

-Nick Lucchesi

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