Have you heard the news? According to Bryan Burwell's sappy tear-jerker in the Post-Dispatch this morning
, 57 of the 61 players on the Rams roster have signed a petition asking that the team sign head coach Jim Haslett
to a contract next season.
That's right. Even after yesterday's embarrassing fourth-quarter collapse
to the Atlanta Falcons to bring their season-ending record to 2-14, the majority of players on the team still have faith in their head coach. The players, btw, affectionately refer to Haslett as "Haz" -- although a more fitting nickname would be "Hazn't." As in..."Coach Hazn't won a game in, oh, two months."
But, hey, if the players want to sign a petition, that's great. I just happen to have a petition of my own. As you may know, next season the Rams will transition their radio broadcasts
from oldies station KLOU (103.3 FM) to new sports station WMVN (101.1 FM). Here's hoping that color analyst Jim Hanifan won't make the move.
I'm sure there are worse color analysts out there, but none immediately come to mind. (Perhaps if John Madden
and Dick Vitale
were able to have a child together, their offspring might -- just might -- be as insufferable as Hanifan.)
A former head coach of the football Cardinals, Hanifan first debuted in the Rams broadcast booth in 2005. During that initial game, Hanifan went ballistic
when the Rams chose "tails" during a coin toss. According to Hanifan
(who coached the Big Red to a 39-49-1 record from 1980 to 1985), coin
tosses almost always come out "heads." Later in that same game Hanifan
informed Rams Nation that he was "going to regurgitate" when a Rams
player missed a tackle.
These days Hanifan can be heard repeating himself on nearly every play.
Such as when he announces that something is
"horrible, horrible" or vexes "good-gad, good-gad" and "arrgh, arrgh."
He does, however, enjoy those Quiznos subs delivered to the broadcast
booth at half-time. You can hear his drool hit the microphone
midway through the first quarter when Hanifan first announces the
sub-shop promotion. It's gotten to the point where you almost don't
know whether Rams play-by-play commentator Steve Savard
is working with Hanifan or babysitting him.
But enough about my feelings on Hanifan. Do you have your own thoughts you'd like to share? Feel free to
respond in the commentary session below or just leave your name to join
in on the petition. I'll be sending a compiled list to the Rams within
the next few weeks.
P.S. As an extra bonus I'm also petitioning that the Rams cease their
contract with disc-jockey Smash, a.k.a. Asher Benrubi. For the
uninformed, Smash is the blowhard who can be heard promoting up-coming
Rams radio broadcasts with his derivative and blathering threats to the opposing teams, ie.
"JOIN US NEXT WEEK WHEN THE RAMS GIVE THE SMACKDOWN TO THE SEATTLE SEA
Really, Smash? Which Rams would that be? The 2007 version with its 3-13
record, or the 2008 team with its impossibly worse performance of 2 and
-- Chad Garrison