She really wants you. In fact she sexts you all kinds of nasty things
she plans to do to you. Example: "...all i can think about is givn you (head) and (fuckin) ur brains out."
She tells you she wants to stop by your house, but first she's going to swing by Victoria's Secret for some lingerie and the drug store for some condoms and birth control pills (just to be on the safe side).
Now imagine that she knocks on your door. Instead of appearing like the innocent in the portrait-shop photo above, the woman actually look like this. Now imagine a squad of police officers running toward your doorstep because you're a 14-year-old boy and your suitor is a 39-year-old mother.
Yes, if you can imagine all these scenarios then you'll have no problem imagining why Daily RFT
voters elected Christie Bradley
as Ass Clown of the Week.
Bradley captured a commanding 42 percent of all votes cast in the poll (viewable here
.) Other contenders receiving votes included...
- Alderwoman Phyllis Young, who garnered 27 percent of the vote for her efforts to boot Octoberfest out of the Soulard neighborhood.
- Mike Huckabee, the former presidential candidate got 21 percent of the vote for a bizarre-I'll-never-run-for-president-again speech he made in St. Louis ten days ago to a conservative group of malcontents.
- Jimmy Winkelmann, a young St. Louis entrepreneur won just 5 percent of all ballots cast for his "South Butt" riff on the apparel company North Face.
- Mizzou officials also garnered 5 percent of the vote for accidently selling school-owned cell phones without first deleting the address books and text messages. Two of the phones belonged to football and basketball coaches Gary Pinkel and Mike Anderson.
Thank you all for playing. Back with a new round of candidates on Friday.
Imagine that you start receiving online propositions and text messages from the woman pictured to the left.