Two important revelations about former governor Rod Blagojevich from last night's episode of Celebrity Apprentice:
1. Blago is still innocent.
2. Blago has a thing for balloons.
In this week's task, Donald Trump told the two teams to set up storefronts pimping Kodak's exciting new products. Blago graciously yielded the project manager title to Sinbad, citing the comedian's greater expertise with digital cameras.
The men's strategy was to allow visitors to have a Kodak moment with some of the celebrities. Folks could swing a bat with Darryl Strawberry, pretend to play guitar with Bret Michaels, crouch on the starting block with Michael Johnson, chop vegetables with Curtis Stone or make ferocious WWE faces with Goldberg.
Notice anyone who's missing?
Yes, indeed, the former chief executive of the great state of Illinois was reduced to camera duty. Though, really, what sort of tasteful photo op could there be with a corrupt politician? Blago took it in stride. "[The people] had a chance to have their picture taken by a guy who used to be governor of a really big state," he said proudly.
(Why not just say "Illinois"? Or does he think New Yorkers might not have heard of it?)
But Blago, who claims to be part of what Theodore Roosevelt called "the Fellowship of Doers", truly shone in his other major task in the proceedings: Balloon-wrangling. "Balloons make him happy," Sinbad told the camera, then used his dubious comedy skills to riff for a while on how balloons are of the people, just as the former governor is a man of the people. Or something like that.
What seemed to please Blago most, though, was not the intoxicating combination of latex and helium but the fact that the official balloon color of Kodak is goldenrod. "Goldenrod!" he said more than once, beaming with delight.
It surely made up for the humiliation of not being recognized on the streets of New York:
In the end, the men lost the challenge mostly because they neglected to mention that Kodak sold cameras and things. Sinbad chose to bring Bret Michaels and Blagojevich back to the boardroom, Michaels because he had stomped off in a snit earlier in the task and Blago because "I can't say anyone else."
The women, watching the boardroom procedings on TV, mocked Blago mercilessly. "Do you think his eyes are too close together?" inquired Sharon Osborne. "He looks a little half-baked."
Nonetheless, Blago avoided getting fired, mostly because The Donald decided that Sinbad's terrible managerial skills were a far worse sin than Blago's irritating inability to answer a direct question.
Next week: It is revealed that Blagojevich cannot type.