Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Naked (and Portly) Jogger Being Hunted by Columbia Police
By Nicholas Phillips
on Tue, Nov 16, 2010 at 11:45 AM
's campus, folks normally call it "hazing," "streaking," or "insanity!"
But when a fat dude in his late fifties with shoulder-length blonde hair peels off his briefs and goes a-jogging, people call it "second degree sexual misconduct
," "class B misdemeanor
" and "put away your junk you scary old man."
According to The Maneater,
"the naked jogger" was spotted twice last week on Mizzou's east campus, in mid-afternoon. Columbia Police
want to nab him. Says CPD spokeswoman Jessie Haden:
"We don't know his motives, and we don't want him to turn dangerous."
Oh golly, Daily RFT
suspects he's already more than endangered the innocence of dozens of co-eds. We also sincerely wish he properly hydrates during workouts by at least wearing a water-bottle belt
When a naked man darts around