Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Meters In Meter: The Best Relay Names of the GO! St. Louis Marathon, In Verse

Posted By on Tue, Apr 17, 2012 at 7:31 AM

click to enlarge The "Completely Sauced" team at the start of this year's race. - TIM PARKER PHOTO
  • Tim Parker Photo
  • The "Completely Sauced" team at the start of this year's race.

Judging by the number of beer-centric relay names that popped up in Sunday's GO! St. Louis Marathon, deciding to run as a foursome and coming up with a clever team name must be what particularly motivated people do after a weekend bender: e.g., Team Temporarily Impaired, Thought This Was a Beer Pong Tournament, Seemed Like a Good Idea At the Time.

Because we're somewhat more adept at writing poetry in meter than we are running in meters -- which is to say, not very -- here's a sort-of rhyming summary culled from the 500 teams of four who entered. (Click here for complete relay-team race results.) And hey, Post-Dispatch staff (we know that's you, teams Deadliners and Headliners): Journalists don't run, so knock it off. You're making us look bad over here. Though dibs on "Flatliners" for RFT's team name next year.

[Clears throat...]

Meters In Meter: An Ode to Relay-Team Names They were runny (Mind Over Miles) and punny (Scrambled Legs and Achin')

Inspirational (teams Get Started, Keep Going and Never Quit) and locational (Wicked Women of Wildwood)

Lauding the things they were running for (Carin' for Aaron, Will Run For Beer, Will Run for Cupcakes)

While fleeing the things they were running from (Running From the Law Students, Running From Bigfoot)

Delicious (Midnight Pokey Stix, Scooby Snacks)

Nutritious (Tequila & Tutus)

Team names for The Celebrity Apprentice? (Affinity, Team Fusion)

Some were bodily (3 Dudes & 2 Boobs)

Some were God-ily (Team Living Water, Heb. 12:1)

And some made you feel bad

For some guy named Brad (Brad Sucks),

But the best one

Was totally Nads.

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