April Fools' Day is a holiday created by and for manipulative jerks; it's a day when lying to your friend's face is acceptable and causing minor property damage is just the price of doing business. Indeed, today is a the day when interpersonal trust takes a long lunch break.
So, obviously, we want in on the action. But on the other hand, every year some tone-deaf media outlet -- usually a college paper -- tries to be edgy and cool for April Fools', and ends up being sexist. Hell, even regular pranksters screw it up with racism. Or more racism.
So, to be clear: The news stories below are not real, because they are fake. They are double, no, triple fake with a side of lies. With that out of the way: Happy April Fools' Day, suckas!
See also: Happy April Fools' Day! Top Ten Missouri Pranks Gone Wrong (PHOTOS)
5. With apologies to Jon Hamm...
4. At least there's free cable...
Continue for more April Fools fakery.
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