Subject:

Chris Duncan

  • Blogs

    October 23, 2013

    Best and Worst Cardinals' World Series Memories

    Nineteen. It's the number of times the St. Louis Cardinals have made it to the World Series, and a tally that's second only to the New York Yankees' 40 trips to baseball's big dance. The Redbirds also lay claim to the most championships, again after the Yankees. And while October baseball has mostly ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 25, 2010

    Chris Duncan Signs With Washington Nationals, Celebrates at With Washington Monument

    Former St. Louis Cardinals outfielder and World Series Trophy dry-humpin' hero Chris Duncan has signed with the Washington Nationals, according to the Nats' official website.Bon voyage, Chris!​

  • Blogs

    August 21, 2009

    Chris Duncan Still Being Conspired Against

    Sadly, it looks as if Boston - or, more accurately, Pawtucket - just wasn't far enough for Chris Duncan to escape the shadowy conspiracy against him. Keep on humping, Chris, and keep reaching for that rainbow. ​Duncan has been released by the Boston Red Sox, less than a month after he was acq ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 27, 2009

    Last Week's Most Popular Daily RFT Posts, July 20-26

    G'morning! If you're just not ready to unclench the weekend from your grip, rewind with these highlights from last week on the Daily RFT, the top-ten most-read postsJoker Bites His Wife's Face, Tells Cops He's BatmanThomas Byrd of Granite City, Ass Clown of the Week nominee, was sentenced to 24 year ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 23, 2009

    Remembering Chris 'Dry-Humping' Duncan

    To send Dunc' off to the East coast, here's him, giving a special farewell hump to a steamer trunk

  • Blogs

    July 23, 2009

    Remembering Chris 'Dry-Humping' Duncan

    To send Dunc' off to the East coast, here's him, giving a special farewell hump to a steamer trunk

  • Blogs

    July 23, 2009

    Circling the Drain

    Does anybody want to tell me when this whole thing just went to hell? Remember when the Cardinals were a first-class organization, one that made smart moves, fielded competitive teams, and had everyone pulling in the same direction? Well, guess what, folks, the party, as they say, is over. ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 20, 2009

    Moonshot

    Ever wonder how far the NASA astronauts traveled when they were hoofing it around the moon? How about the amount of ground they covered relative to the size and shape of the average Major League Baseball diamond? No? Didn't think so.Nevertheless, as part of the 40th anniversary of Apollo 11, NASA pr ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 17, 2009

    The Cardinals Second Half Preview

    First, and most importantly, you'll have to forgive the lack of a clever title. I thought and thought, then thought some more, and really just didn't like any of the options I came up with. Some were too obscure, some not obscure enough, some didn't make much sense, still others lacked any tie to th ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 24, 2009

    Game Notes 23rd June- Cardinals 3, Metropolitans 0

    -Joe Thurston has got to be the worst baserunner I've ever seen. I'm fully aware that good and bad baserunning alike, over the course of a full season, will only help or hurt you by a few runs, but from a situational standpoint, Thurston getting picked off of second base in the seventh inning was as ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 5, 2009

    Get Well Soon, Swingin' Dick

    I'll admit it: I actually yelled out when Dick Ankiel went into that wall last night. Usually, even in the case of an injury, I'm much more taciturn, but not this time. Honestly, I thought he was dead. I jumped up, screamed out "Oh my God," and just stood there in my living room, hands pressed ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 16, 2009

    Cardinals Post-Game Notes: April 16, 2009

    Just a couple of quick impressions from the Cards' first contest of the year against the Chicago Nine.  

  • Blogs

    April 8, 2009

    Wednesday, April 8: Morning's Newz

    Mayor Francis Slay easily won a third term yesterday, collecting 60 percent of the vote and defeating Independent challenger Maida Coleman who garnered just 30 percent of votes.In other election news, maverick Town & Country mayoral candidate John Hoffmann lost handily to incumbent Jon Dalton. T ... More >>

  • News

    April 1, 2009
  • Blogs

    March 5, 2009

    Queen of the Pole: With Special Guest Jim Edmonds

    Jim Edmonds has left the St. Louis Cardinals for the harsher climates of Chicago, but the flashiest Cardinal since Ray Lankford still has a business here, the uniform-numbered F15teen restaurant and lounge downtown. Naturally, "Jimmy Baseball," or Jim "You make me want to leave my husband and three ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 4, 2009

    A Very Wise Man and His Tree

    Congratulations to 2008 Unreal News Challenge winner Allen Lowen. Lowen dropped by the RFT offices last week to pick up the incredible prize package he earned for scoring 96 out of 100 on Unreal's annual news quiz. (You can still take the test here, just don't expect us to grade it. Answers are avai ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 24, 2008

    Last Minute Gift Ideas for Chris Duncan, Richie Incognito, Albert Pujols and Other St. Louis Sports Personalities

    It's tough being a St. Louis sporting figure these days. Whether you're calling out your players for poor play, making demands for an $11 million luxury, or just trying to make sense of what you just saw happen to your team, life is flat out hard. But you know what can make it all better? Why, ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 29, 2008

    Cardinals Halloween Costume Ideas

    What's scarier than a Cubs World Series championship? Trick question, it won't happen. But Cardinals Halloween costumes -- especially an Al Hrabosky mask from the '70s -- could be almost as frightful. The below suggestions and more are submitted by the folks over at InsideSTL. It's a funny read ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 4, 2008

    Tony La Russa: On Tape

    The St. Louis Cardinals are not mathematically out of playoff contention this season, but fans can't help but wonder what's in store for next season. To take the beleaguered Cardinals fan's mind off September's woes, view some of the many sides of Tony La Russa -- and be glad your life's not on tape ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 27, 2008
  • Blogs

    July 15, 2008

    Now for the Bad News About the Cardinals

    Yesterday, I took a look at some of the biggest positives from the first half of the season. And really, it's been mostly positive so far. A team that no one really gave any chance of competing has reached the All-Star break in second place in the division, and is leading the wild card race. All g ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 11, 2008

    Cardinals at the Crossroads

    You know, so far this season, the new Cardinals GM has led a pretty charmed life. True, John Mozeliak did inherit a mess of a front office at the beginning of his tenure. He did some nice work with that situation, moving quickly to restore harmony and begin healing the rifts between various factio ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 16, 2008

    Concussion Could Knock Molina from All-Star Contention

    Sunday's win was a costly one. Just the most recent in a seemingly endless line of costly games, in fact. When Yadier Molina took a low throw from Chris Duncan and spun to tag out Eric Bruntlett of the Philadelphia Phillies -- before Bruntlett could touch home plate -- all of St. Louis held its co ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 11, 2008

    For Cardinals, June is Getting Tougher

    Now we'll see just how tough this team really is. It looks like Albert Pujols is definitely going on the fifteen-day Disabled List. What exactly this means for the Cardinals' season remains to be seen. All this year, we've witnessed this team, supposedly outclassed by plenty of other teams, play s ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 28, 2008

    Chris Duncan Looks Lost Out There

    When the 2008 season opened, I, like a lot of other people I'm sure, had various ideas about what this year would be about. Lots of us thought it would be about assessment, about looking at the current resources and deciding just what we have here. Others thought it would be about angry fans, disgus ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 27, 2008

    The Cardinals: Where Do They Go From Here?

    So, where do we go from here? (Vote on your changes here). Memorial Day has come and gone. The first real holiday of summer always provides a nice opportunity to look around and take stock of a baseball team; to assess the strengths, weaknesses, and everything in between. So, what have we learned s ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 13, 2008

    Cards Blog: Finding Strong Bats in the Minors

    Remember when I said Monday that Sunday's loss was the worst game I had seen the Cardinals play this season? Well, apparently the team took some pretty serious umbrage at that statement, because they did their very best to convince me otherwise last night. Look, Adam Wainwright is going to have ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 13, 2008

    Cards Blog: Finding Strong Bats in the Minors

    Remember when I said Monday that Sunday's loss was the worst game I had seen the Cardinals play this season? Well, apparently the team took some pretty serious umbrage at that statement, because they did their very best to convince me otherwise last night. Look, Adam Wainwright is going to have ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 30, 2008

    Cards Blog: Schumaker Won't be at Shortstop

    Lately, one of the hot topics around the various Internet message boards, talk radio and, I'm sure, the good old-fashioned water cooler, is Skip Schumaker. More specifically, the fact that Schumaker played shortstop in school. Given the Cardinals' weakness in the middle infield, why not just mov ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 29, 2008

    Cards Blog: Wellemeyer Shows Grit

    Last night was Todd Wellemeyer's best start of the year. That's right, you heard me. Four runs, high pitch counts, getting knocked around all over the park. Best start of the year. Let me explain. Up to this point in the season, Wellemeyer has had excellent command of his full arsenal of pitches ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 29, 2008

    Cards Blog: Wellemeyer Shows Grit

    Last night was Todd Wellemeyer's best start of the year. That's right, you heard me. Four runs, high pitch counts, getting knocked around all over the park. Best start of the year. Let me explain. Up to this point in the season, Wellemeyer has had excellent command of his full arsenal of pitches ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 18, 2008

    Cards Blog: An Inning-By-Inning Soap Opera

    On Thursday afternoon, the Cardinals played the finale of a three game series against the Brewers. I was lucky enough to score some free tickets, and, being the intrepid reporter that I am, I'm taking it upon myself to record my thoughts on the game. Come along with me, your eyes and ears to the wor ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 18, 2008

    Cards Blog: An Inning-By-Inning Soap Opera

    On Thursday afternoon, the Cardinals played the finale of a three game series against the Brewers. I was lucky enough to score some free tickets, and, being the intrepid reporter that I am, I'm taking it upon myself to record my thoughts on the game. Come along with me, your eyes and ears to the wor ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 11, 2008

    Simply Offensive: The Cardinals' Attack

    Just the type of loss that the Cardinals need to avoid, and just the kind I'm afraid we may see more of. With the fortunes of the National League Central looking stronger so far this year, if the Cardinals have any chance of seriously contending this season, they need to take advantage of their ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 11, 2008

    Simply Offensive: The Cardinals' Attack

    Just the type of loss that the Cardinals need to avoid, and just the kind I'm afraid we may see more of. With the fortunes of the National League Central looking stronger so far this year, if the Cardinals have any chance of seriously contending this season, they need to take advantage of their ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 4, 2008

    Cards Blog: What to Watch for Against the Nats

    The Washington Nationals are coming to town! Hmm, not really that exciting, huh? Well, they’re not a great team by any stretch of the imagination, so maybe you can be excused for thinking that. However, a weak team is just what the doctor ordered for the Cardinals. They just took two of three f ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 4, 2008

    Cards Blog: What to Watch for Against the Nats

    The Washington Nationals are coming to town! Hmm, not really that exciting, huh? Well, they’re not a great team by any stretch of the imagination, so maybe you can be excused for thinking that. However, a weak team is just what the doctor ordered for the Cardinals. They just took two of three f ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 12, 2007

    Rainout

    What can Unreal say...it's a wet November Monday and there's nothing for Chris Duncan to dry hump. But there is this, from the Chicagoans at We Are the Postmen (via Deadspin): And while we're at it, Deadspin also reminded us of how weird the St. Louis Cardinals' 2008 schedule looked when we scan ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 12, 2007

    Rainout

    What can Unreal say...it's a wet November Monday and there's nothing for Chris Duncan to dry hump. But there is this, from the Chicagoans at We Are the Postmen (via Deadspin): And while we're at it, Deadspin also reminded us of how weird the St. Louis Cardinals' 2008 schedule looked when we scan ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 12, 2007

    This Week's Issue

    Check out Justin Kendall's riveting cover story about former football stars who say the NFL has deserted them. Unreal investigates a chick interested in pulling a million dollars from her bum, the paragons of God's power and Chris Duncan's sports hernia. While exploring the unanswered questions ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 12, 2007

    This Week's Issue

    Check out Justin Kendall's riveting cover story about former football stars who say the NFL has deserted them. Unreal investigates a chick interested in pulling a million dollars from her bum, the paragons of God's power and Chris Duncan's sports hernia. While exploring the unanswered questions ... More >>

  • News

    September 12, 2007

    Bottoms Up

    Unreal considers becoming an ass-vertizer and wonders what's up with Dunc's junk.

  • Blogs

    September 10, 2007

    Chris Duncan: The Dry-Hump Hernia?

    Was it the piñata, Homer Simpson or Charlie the Tortoise that kicked Chris Duncan where it counts? When it came to the latest below-the-belt blow to the St. Louis Cardinals' postseason hopes, the warning signs, reportedly, were there: Manager Tony La Russa has gently hinted that Duncan's baggage h ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 10, 2007

    Chris Duncan: The Dry-Hump Hernia?

    Was it the piñata, Homer Simpson or Charlie the Tortoise that kicked Chris Duncan where it counts? When it came to the latest below-the-belt blow to the St. Louis Cardinals' postseason hopes, the warning signs, reportedly, were there: Manager Tony La Russa has gently hinted that Duncan's baggage h ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 31, 2007

    Which Cardinal Has the Longest Dinger?

    Chris Duncan hit a home run in the first inning of Tuesday's game against the Astros that elicited an entire dictionary's worth of hyperbolic verbs. The ball was ripped, tattooed, crushed and, dare I say, dry humped. photo: AP The prodigious blast, which you can see here, came off former Cardina ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 31, 2007

    Which Cardinal Has the Longest Dinger?

    Chris Duncan hit a home run in the first inning of Tuesday's game against the Astros that elicited an entire dictionary's worth of hyperbolic verbs. The ball was ripped, tattooed, crushed and, dare I say, dry humped. photo: AP The prodigious blast, which you can see here, came off former Cardina ... More >>

  • News

    June 27, 2007

    Dry-Hump Fatigue

    Our readers like barbecue and solid reporting. Chris Duncan humping random objects, not so much.

  • Blogs

    May 28, 2007
  • Blogs

    November 8, 2006

    To the Victor Go the Spoils

    In the grand tradition of Shit That Gets Passed Around, we humbly offer these twin portraits of Chris Duncan. Our favorite is the one on the left, which depicts the Cardinals rookie performing the time-honored ritual known as Dry-Humping the World Series Trophy (a.k.a. Boy Behind the Barn With a S ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 17, 2006

    Chew Tube

    icemannyr Maybe the baseball playoffs are filmed in too high definition. Watching the Cardinals' improbable run on TV is fun. John Mellencamp's pick-up truck song is more enjoyable after the nine-hundredth listen than Bob Seger's or Taylor Hicks' were, and the color commentary is solid. (Luis Go ... More >>

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