Chris Duncan

Gerald Laird? Really? Cardinals Make Another Less-Than-Impressive Off-Season Move

Goodbye, Brendan Ryan. Hello, Gerald Laird. commons.wikimedia.orgGoodbye, high socks, goodbye, fun. ​So this is what building a winner looks like? This is what a championship-caliber team feels like? Interesting. I always thought winning would feel good. I always kind of pictured the fee ... More >>

Chris Duncan Signs With Washington Nationals, Celebrates at With Washington Monument

Former St. Louis Cardinals outfielder and World Series Trophy dry-humpin' hero Chris Duncan has signed with the Washington Nationals, according to the Nats' official website.Bon voyage, Chris!​

Cardinals' Dan McLaughlin is Baseball's Second-Biggest Blabbermouth

Last August, the ever-brooding Jeff Kent, finishing out his career with the Los Angeles Dodgers, threw one of his patented hissy fits when a Los Angeles Times columnist had the temerity to suggest that Manny Ramirez's arrival had helped Kent raise his batting average by twenty points. Wikiped ... More >>

Chris Duncan Still Being Conspired Against

Sadly, it looks as if Boston - or, more accurately, Pawtucket - just wasn't far enough for Chris Duncan to escape the shadowy conspiracy against him. Keep on humping, Chris, and keep reaching for that rainbow. ​Duncan has been released by the Boston Red Sox, less than a month after he was acq ... More >>

Last Week's Most Popular Daily RFT Posts, July 20-26

G'morning! If you're just not ready to unclench the weekend from your grip, rewind with these highlights from last week on the Daily RFT, the top-ten most-read postsJoker Bites His Wife's Face, Tells Cops He's BatmanThomas Byrd of Granite City, Ass Clown of the Week nominee, was sentenced to 24 year ... More >>

Remembering Chris 'Dry-Humping' Duncan

To send Dunc' off to the East coast, here's him, giving a special farewell hump to a steamer trunk

Remembering Chris 'Dry-Humping' Duncan

To send Dunc' off to the East coast, here's him, giving a special farewell hump to a steamer trunk

Circling the Drain

Does anybody want to tell me when this whole thing just went to hell? Remember when the Cardinals were a first-class organization, one that made smart moves, fielded competitive teams, and had everyone pulling in the same direction? Well, guess what, folks, the party, as they say, is over. ... More >>

Moonshot

Ever wonder how far the NASA astronauts traveled when they were hoofing it around the moon? How about the amount of ground they covered relative to the size and shape of the average Major League Baseball diamond? No? Didn't think so.Nevertheless, as part of the 40th anniversary of Apollo 11, NASA pr ... More >>

The Cardinals Second Half Preview

First, and most importantly, you'll have to forgive the lack of a clever title. I thought and thought, then thought some more, and really just didn't like any of the options I came up with. Some were too obscure, some not obscure enough, some didn't make much sense, still others lacked any tie to th ... More >>

Game Notes 23rd June- Cardinals 3, Metropolitans 0

-Joe Thurston has got to be the worst baserunner I've ever seen. I'm fully aware that good and bad baserunning alike, over the course of a full season, will only help or hurt you by a few runs, but from a situational standpoint, Thurston getting picked off of second base in the seventh inning was as ... More >>

Nothing Shall Come From Something, Trade Again!

And so, just like that, the Blaine Boyer Experiment comes to an end here in St. Louis. Farewell, Monorail Man, we hardly knew ye. (And barely cared.) Somehow, it just isn't as cool as Rocket Man, is it? 

Get Well Soon, Swingin' Dick

I'll admit it: I actually yelled out when Dick Ankiel went into that wall last night. Usually, even in the case of an injury, I'm much more taciturn, but not this time. Honestly, I thought he was dead. I jumped up, screamed out "Oh my God," and just stood there in my living room, hands pressed ... More >>

Cardinals Post-Game Notes: April 16, 2009

Just a couple of quick impressions from the Cards' first contest of the year against the Chicago Nine.  

Young & Restless: Will 2009 finally be a breakthrough year for top Cardinals prospects?

Bargain Shopping, the Cardinal Way

Ah, January. Bringer of frigid temperatures, NFL playoff games, and suicides by the bucketful. The holiday season is officially over. Christmas has come and gone, and the New Year has been rung. Truly, these are the darkest days of all for the retail industry. Thus, one other thing always comes ... More >>

Last Minute Gift Ideas for Chris Duncan, Richie Incognito, Albert Pujols and Other St. Louis Sports Personalities

It's tough being a St. Louis sporting figure these days. Whether you're calling out your players for poor play, making demands for an $11 million luxury, or just trying to make sense of what you just saw happen to your team, life is flat out hard. But you know what can make it all better? Why, ... More >>

Awards Time: The Best of the Cardinals and the Cardinal Blogs

I've spoken in the past of the United Cardinal Bloggers project, I know. Well, see, it's the time of year when those of us who take part in such things all gather 'round the flickering monitor screen and take a vote. We vote on things large and small, exquisite and banal. And then, when all the vote ... More >>

Cardinals Halloween Costume Ideas

Tony La Russa: On Tape

There's a Logjam in the Cardinals Outfield

Now for the Bad News About the Cardinals

Cardinals at the Crossroads

Concussion Could Knock Molina from All-Star Contention

Izturis' Triple Tells Us of the '08 Cardinals

Chris Duncan Looks Lost Out There

The Cardinals: Where Do They Go From Here?

Cards Blog: Legit at Last?

Cards Blog: Legit at Last?

Cards Blog: Wellemeyer Shows Grit

Cards Blog: Wellemeyer Shows Grit

Cards Blog: What to Watch for Against the Nats

Cards Blog: What to Watch for Against the Nats

Opening Day 2008: Winning and Losing

Opening Day 2008: Winning and Losing

Rainout

Rainout

This Week's Issue

This Week's Issue

Bottoms Up

Unreal considers becoming an ass-vertizer and wonders what's up with Dunc's junk.

Which Cardinal Has the Longest Dinger?

Which Cardinal Has the Longest Dinger?

Black Out

The Cards still don't have any blacks on their team. What else is new?

Dry-Hump Fatigue

Our readers like barbecue and solid reporting. Chris Duncan humping random objects, not so much.

Declare Independence!

Josh Hancock: Tales from the East Side

Josh Hancock: Tales from the East Side

A Cardinals Fan in New York

A Cardinals Fan in New York

Overheard

Let's raise a toast to mathematicians! Plus: Wedding tips for pretty much everybody.