Colby Rasmus

8 More Cringe-Inducing Fan-Made Songs About the St. Louis Cardinals

Every sport has its fan-written songs, but in Major League Baseball today, it seems like no community seems to write as many as St. Louis Cardinals fans. And most of them are awful. See Also: - Cardinals World Series Fan Songs: A Remix, A Rally Squirrel And A Career High Point - A Whole New Ballga ... More >>

The 5 Worst Hairdos in Sports (Inspired by Colby Rasmus' Cornrows)

So, Colby Rasmus has cornrows. We heard about the news at -- where else? -- the beauty parlor. And while public reaction to the new look has been mixed (we're hoping his biggest fan approves), it got us to thinking: What are the worst hairstyles ever in sports? Following is our list. Got your own no ... More >>

Fun With Park Factors! (And College Draftees)

I still haven't gotten my shit together enough (or found the multiple hours necessary), to complete the last part of my draft report for the Cardinals this year. I feel very bad about this state of affairs; I just thought you should all know. However, despite my inability to get the larger piec ... More >>

Tony La Russa Goes Out On a High Note

It seems fitting, seeing as how the past two months may have actually been the ultimate achievement of the man's career. ​Tony La Russa, manager of the St. Louis Cardinals since 1996 and winningest skipper in the history of the franchise, announced today he is retiring. I have to say, this is ... More >>

Cardinals' Bullpen Comes Through In Big Way

La Russa kept the phone to the bullpen busy last night. It paid off.​Well, it wasn't quite the brilliant matchup of ace starters I think most of us were anticipating, but it'll do. Yovani Gallardo, ace of the Milwaukee Brewers, allowed thirteen baserunners, making it somewhat shocking the Car ... More >>

Jon Jay and The Curse of a Starting Job

Jon Jay: Looks like a greater starter until he actually is.​Last year at the trade deadline, the Cardinals got rid of one of their most productive, talented offensive players -- an outfielder -- in search of pitching help. They felt confident moving Ryan Ludwick in the three-team deal with the Cle ... More >>

Tonight: The Cardinals' Last Stand

General George Custer, moments before telling one of his men, a Lieutenant Patterson, he had, "Complete faith you can lead us to victory over these Algonquin sunsabitches."​Things have not been going all that well for the Cardinals lately. What's that, you say? You expected an expletive-laced ... More >>

Is It Ever Okay to Root Against the Cardinals?

Pretend, for a moment, that the Cardinals are your sister...​So the Colby Rasmus trade has had a day to sink in now, and the opinions on both sides are rather strong. Side A: "Oh, for the love of god, I can't believe the Cards just gave away their talented young center fielder for peanut ... More >>

Colby Rasmus' Dad Responds to Trade; Says La Russa "Belittled" His Son

Colby Rasmus is now a Toronto Blue Jay.​Tony Rasmus, the outspoken father of Colby Rasmus, has weighed in on his son's trade yesterday from the Cardinals to the Toronto Blue Jays. (A trade, btw, that RFT's baseball columnist, Aaron Schafer, calls one of the "stupidest, most asinine moves" he's eve ... More >>

Worst Trade Ever! Cardinals Send Colby Rasmus to Toronto for Spare Parts

​Ladies and gentlemen, if you would like to see what an incompetent sports organization looks like, I have an outstanding example for you right here in St. Louis. The Cardinals today have agreed to trade away Colby Rasmus, their young center fielder, who has multiple years of club control lef ... More >>

Colby Rasmus: Sabermetrics Nerd?

We all think we know Colby Rasmus. Sure we do. Hell of an athlete, occasionally seems to not have his head all the way in the game. Quiet kid, awfully shy. Maybe not the brightest bulb in the scoreboard, if his interviews are any indication. Or, then again, maybe he's just too shy to interview well. ... More >>

Game Notes: Cardinals 3, Padres 1, May 23

commons.wikimedia.orgA sight that used to be so common, but has been a bit rare of late. ​Ladies and gentlemen, our long national nightmare is over. Albert Pujols has hit a home run. Sure, that may not seem like the biggest deal; I remember a time when Albert Pujols hitting a home run wa ... More >>

Cardinals On Pace To Shatter MLB Record for Hitting Into Double Plays

Would you believe this was the cleanest image I could find to go along with this article? ​No, the DP Blues is not what an adult film starlet gets after a particularly taxing week at work. The DP Blues is what the Cardinals have right now, and have had ever since Albert Pujols grounded into not on ... More >>

Readers talk shit about our headline and the Schapiro Group study — but couldn't care less about Ian's oyster issues

It's Cardinals Time! St. Louis Cardinals Opening Day 2011

Music to Swing To: An at-bat tune can tell you a lot about a player

Shit Colby Rasmus' Dad Says: The father of the St. Louis Cardinals phenom is never at a loss for words. But what he says might surprise you.

Smoke 'Em If You Got 'Em: Think of the 2011 Redbirds as your emphysemic, three-pack-a-day uncle

Even More Shit Colby Rasmus' Dad Says

Courtesy of Tony RasmusA young Colby Rasmus with his dad (far left), his mom (far right) and some teammates.​ In this week's print edition, RFT freelancer Larry Borowsky notched an exclusive interview with Tony Rasmus -- the voluble father of Cards' phenom Colby Rasmus. Not surprisingly, Rasmus ha ... More >>

More Shit Colby Rasmus' Dad Says

Courtesy of Tony RasmusA young Colby Rasmus with his dad (far left), his mom (far right) and some teammates.​ In this week's print edition, RFT freelancer Larry Borowsky notched an exclusive interview with Tony Rasmus -- the voluble father of Cards' phenom Colby Rasmus. Not surprisingly, Rasmus ha ... More >>

Tony La Russa and The Razzle Dazzle Kid

​Going into the long Labor Day weekend, I fully expected to be focused on the Cardinals. Sure, there was the Mizzou-Illinois game to attend, and a couple other college football games I found intriguing, and there was the Greek Festival down at St. Nicholas' church. (By the by, memo to the festival ... More >>

Local Linkage: The Anti-La Russa All Star Team

Our friends over at InsideSTL ran an interesting post on the Cardinals this morning. Starting with a brief recap of the problems between Colby Rasmus and Tony La Russa they compiled an All-Star list of former Redbirds who hate La Russa: The Anti-La Russa All Star Team.Image from Breitbart​

Skip Schumaker Objects to Column; Finds Support Among Blind Squirrel, Broken Clock Communities

commons.wikimedia.orgSkip Schumaker, almost assuredly putting a ball into the bleachers somewhere. ​Apparently Skip Schumaker doesn't like conjecture he may, in fact, be the worst everyday player in the big leagues. Of course, the first grand slam of his career doesn't change anything beyond last ... More >>

Grit Expectations: Ian finds his Mojo on South Grand

Cardinals Offense: The One That Got Away

Up yours, marlin. ​Well, at least the Reds lost too. Of course, the fact Cincinnati was unable to come back against the Braves just means the Cardinals missed a golden opportunity to retake their rightful place at the top of the NL Central. So maybe the Reds losing should go under the 'piling ... More >>

Is McGwire to Blame for Cardinals' Lack of Offensive? The Numbers Don't Suggest It

So a little over a month into the season, the Cardinals' pitching, particularly the starting pitching, has been absolutely exquisite, while the offense has been, um, let's see...what's the opposite of exquisite? Maybe not the opposite, actually; how about something that's well short of exquisite but ... More >>

C.J. Beatty: Cardinals Minor Leaguer Is ALL OVER TWITTER

​C.J. Beatty, an outfielder drafted by the St. Louis Cardinals last year (26th round; 789th overall), has been playing well with the Quad Cities team and was recently promoted to the club's full-season roster, AND HE'LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT ON TWITTER. Kidding aside, this minor-league prospe ... More >>

Game Notes: Cardinals 6, Redlegs 3 -- 7th April 2010

​Well, I think it's pretty clear by now the 2010 Cardinals aren't going to lose a game this year. I can honestly say, after viewing them for two entire games all the way through, this may be the single greatest athletic entity in the history of the world. Move over, '27 Yankees, the Cardinals are ... More >>

Roster Roulette: The 2010 Cardinals team includes some serious question marks

Losing Faith in the Future of the Cardinals

Colby Rasmus and Brendan Ryan are really good baseball players. thedirty.com​I just have to keep telling myself that. Brendan Ryan is one of the best defensive shortstops in the game, and I once saw Colby Rasmus save a group of orphans who were out Christmas caroling when a terrorist fired a ... More >>

Ryan Franklin vs. Matt Holliday: Playing the Blame Game

​So the question must eventually be asked, you know. I don't want to have to ask it, and I'm sure you probably don't want to have to try and answer, but the question will not just go away. So here goes. Who was really at fault for the Cardinals ninth-inning, two-out implosion Thursday night? ... More >>

NLDS Game One Recap: Dodgers 5, Cardinals 3

Okay, so it wasn't quite the start the Cardinals were hoping for. Okay, so maybe that isn't quite strong enough. ​Going into last night's game, the Cardinals should have been confident. Hell, even I was confident, and I am never, ever, ever confident when it comes to October baseball. Th ... More >>

Game Notes: Cardinals 13, Redlegs 0, 1/10/09 -- Carpenter Does it Himself

The Cardinals have had many, many great hitting pitchers in their long and illustrious history. Bob Gibson hit 24 home runs in his career and posted a .751 OPS in 1970. Mark Mulder was a designated hitter during his college career at Michigan State, as was Dan Haren at Pepperdine. Jason Marquis is a ... More >>

Game Notes: Cardinals 3, Trolley Dodgers 2 17/08/09 - The Best Day Ever

A couple of years ago, back when Charlie Haeger was floating around between Triple A and the majors with the White Sox, I was really hoping the Cardinals might check into acquiring him. At the time, it didn't look as if Chicago had a whole lot of use for him, and I thought he would make a great pick ... More >>

The Cardinals Second Half Preview

First, and most importantly, you'll have to forgive the lack of a clever title. I thought and thought, then thought some more, and really just didn't like any of the options I came up with. Some were too obscure, some not obscure enough, some didn't make much sense, still others lacked any tie to th ... More >>

Game Notes: Cardinals 5, Brew Crew 0, 7th July

-- I think that may have been the Cards' best win of the year so far. Facing the staff ace of their chief rival for the division, playing the first game of a truly pivotal three-game series, and they come up big, even sans Albert heroics. Too often, this team only performs when Albert Pujols puts th ... More >>

Colby Decides to Go For a Walk

It's funny the sorts of things a 10-1 pasting of a hated division rival can cover up. I'm sure no one really remembers yesterday's ugliness now; the Cardinals are an offensive machine again. More importantly, the fact Colby Rasmus hadn't taken a walk since the Bush administration is probably largely ... More >>

Game Notes 23rd June- Cardinals 3, Metropolitans 0

-Joe Thurston has got to be the worst baserunner I've ever seen. I'm fully aware that good and bad baserunning alike, over the course of a full season, will only help or hurt you by a few runs, but from a situational standpoint, Thurston getting picked off of second base in the seventh inning was as ... More >>

Game Notes 22nd June- Mets 6, Cards 4: Colonel Pumpkin, I Presume?

-This stuff of pinch-hitting for Colby Rasmus late in the game really needs to stop. Not because he's the Cardinals' best outfielder, or even because he needs to see left-handed pitching in order to learn how to hit it. No, it needs to stop because if Colby gets pinch-hit for, it means that we have ... More >>

Postgame Thoughts, 18th June: Double You. Tee. Eff.

-Okay, so Jo-El Pineiro crapped the bed quite mightily in the first inning, but he certainly had some help from the defense. Just an ugly inning all around, the sort that we really haven't seen too many of from the Cards lately. Typing that, I find myself a bit surprised, to be quite honest. It ... More >>

Readers are mad for (and about) St. Louis' most famous Hungarian

Baseball Card of the Week: Welcome New Cardinal Tyler Greene

Last night, the Cardinals saw yet another young man make his major league debut for the club. By my count, that's only four on the year, certainly not up to last year's cavalcade of kids standard, but the year is still young. Tyler Greene joined David Freese, P.J. Walters, and Colby Rasmus in m ... More >>

Cardinals Post-Game Notes: April 16, 2009

Just a couple of quick impressions from the Cards' first contest of the year against the Chicago Nine.  

Young & Restless: Will 2009 finally be a breakthrough year for top Cardinals prospects?

Baseball Card of the Week: Colby Rasmus

Boy, it sure is cold outside. ............Oh, come on. Don't leave me hanging, guys! How cold is it, Aaron? It's so cold I think I have frostbite. On my genitals! That's not funny. The hell kind of joke is that anyway? Oh. Um, well, it's sort of a meta humor kind of thing. Y ... More >>

Awards Time: The Best of the Cardinals and the Cardinal Blogs

I've spoken in the past of the United Cardinal Bloggers project, I know. Well, see, it's the time of year when those of us who take part in such things all gather 'round the flickering monitor screen and take a vote. We vote on things large and small, exquisite and banal. And then, when all the vote ... More >>

What If: The Cardinals Acquire San Diego Ace Jake Peavy

Top Ten Off-Field Cardinals Moments of '08

Cardinals Should Stay Away from Rockies' Slugger Matt Holliday

The Cards aren't likely to challenge for the pennant this year. In a way, that'll make them all the more interesting to watch.