Ryan Theriot

  • Blogs

    April 5, 2012

    Snow Globe Baseball Helmet = Ugliest World Series Collectible Ever?

    We know that sports fans -- especially those here in "Cardinals Nation" -- aren't exactly known for their fashion taste. (What was it that former Redbird Ryan Theriot said about Cardinals fans wearing tank tops, jean shorts and Timberland boots?)But, seriously, does anyone think we're homely enough ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 23, 2011

    Cards Win Beltran Sweepstakes

    It's like Ed McMahon dropped by Busch Stadium yesterday, with a big check that read 4.0 WAR in the dollar amount box. ​Christmas came a little early for Cardinal fans this year. For the Cardinal offense, too. The Cards agreed to terms with Carlos Beltran yesterday on a two-year deal for appro ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 12, 2011

    Cards Bringing Furcal Back for 2012

    commons.wikimedia.orgFurcal in 2010 with the Dodgers. ​Thanks to their sudden (and unwanted), financial windfall, the Cardinals' find themselves in a position of having a big pile of Albert Pujols cash sitting around and missing a big pile of Albert Pujols production. John Mozeliak and Co. st ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 31, 2011

    Can the Cards Survive the Deadly Ex-Cubs Factor? [UPDATED]

    Do the Cardinals need one of these?​Update October 31: It turns out they can! (It was proven in 2008 when the Rays lost to the Phillies that minor-leaguers do count as ex-Cubs.) Which means...if the Ex-Cubs curse has been broken, is the Curse of the Goat far behind? Dare we say -- Cubs in 2012 ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 27, 2011

    Cardinals Earn Dubious Distinction: Hit Into Most Double Plays in NL History

    ​Well, folks, it finally happened. The Cardinals last night wrote themselves into the record books. Regardless of whether the Redbirds squeak out a wild-card birth over the next two days, the 2011 season will live in infamy. Last night, en route to a soul-crushing 5-4 extra innings loss to th ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 11, 2011

    Tonight: The Cardinals' Last Stand

    General George Custer, moments before telling one of his men, a Lieutenant Patterson, he had, "Complete faith you can lead us to victory over these Algonquin sunsabitches."​Things have not been going all that well for the Cardinals lately. What's that, you say? You expected an expletive-laced ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 2, 2011

    The Trouble With Tyler Greene

    commons.wikimedia.orgLook! His uniform is even covered in dirt! Why can't this guy get a decent shot here?! ​One of the really interesting (to me, anyway) sidebars of the Cards bringing in Rafael Furcal is the fact Tyler Greene was, once again, the odd man out. Greene was optioned back to Triple A ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 1, 2011

    Cardinals Acquire Rafael Furcal, a Real Live Shortstop​Oh, if only I could somehow believe this would bring to an end the bitter sight of Ryan Theriot playing in a Cardinal uniform. Sadly, I'm sure this just means he'll be moving over to second base, where he can look marginally better but not actually be any better because the o ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 27, 2011

    Worst Trade Ever! Cardinals Send Colby Rasmus to Toronto for Spare Parts

    ​Ladies and gentlemen, if you would like to see what an incompetent sports organization looks like, I have an outstanding example for you right here in St. Louis. The Cardinals today have agreed to trade away Colby Rasmus, their young center fielder, who has multiple years of club control lef ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 25, 2011

    Cardinals Make Statement in Pittsburgh, Then Promptly Retract It

    ​If you're looking for an allegorical representation of the Cardinals' season so far, you could do a whole lot worse than the weekend series against Pittsburgh. After all, it was a series absolutely fraught with symoblic importance, as both teams came in trying to make a statement. For the Pi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 18, 2011

    Did Ryan Theriot Deserve to Be Ejected?

    MLB.comTheriot gets into it with umpires yesterday in Cincinnati.​By now you all probably know about last night's ejection of Ryan Theriot after umpire Mike Muchlinski ruled Cincinnati Red Zack Cozart safe at second during a fielder's choice play in the sixth inning. After the ruling, Theriot ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 6, 2011

    Albert: The Return? Or Just Another Tease?

    For the record, Albert is the one with the black hair. ​From sea to shining sea, you can hear the cry go up: Albert is back! From the tops of the mountains the people sing his praises, from the plains they call his name. In every town square, every town hall, every town house, we hear the happy re ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 26, 2011

    The Double Play Blues, Part 2

    A twin killing! Get it? Okay, fine, they're just brothers, not twins. Man, tough room. ​You all may remember (or you may not; I don't honestly know how much attention anyone pays to me), that just a few weeks back I wrote about the astonishingly high number of double plays the Cardinals have hit i ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 24, 2011

    Ryan Theriot's Version of Cardinal Nation

    So remember a couple weeks ago, when Ryan Theriot made himself much less popular with the Cardinal fan base (no mean feat for a guy as short, scrappy, and Caucasian as he), by making some comments on a Chicago radio station about the manner of dress enjoyed by the denizens of St. Louis? Well, t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 19, 2011

    Kozma the Great and Powerful

    It's the Koz! Get it? ​​If you had told me, at nearly any point in the past three years or so, that Pete Kozma would one day make it to the big leagues, I probably would have laughed at you. Or, if you seemed like the sort of person to get violent if someone laughed at their opinion of a shortst ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 5, 2011

    Cardinals On Pace To Shatter MLB Record for Hitting Into Double Plays

    Would you believe this was the cleanest image I could find to go along with this article? ​No, the DP Blues is not what an adult film starlet gets after a particularly taxing week at work. The DP Blues is what the Cardinals have right now, and have had ever since Albert Pujols grounded into not on ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 5, 2011

    Game Notes: Pirates 4, Cardinals 3, 5/04/11

    ​You know, it's bad when you play the Pittsburgh Pirates, and they look like the young, energetic, dynamic team, and you look like the tired, poorly constructed and fatally flawed team.Unfortunately, that's not all that far from how things looked last night. It's much too soon to really start worr ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 4, 2011

    5 Lessons From the Cardinals' First Three Games

    All right, listen up, kids. This moderately attractive and no doubt long-dead teacher from Pleasantville is gonna learn you up reeeaal nice. ​One series in the can, god only knows how many more to go in the baseball season. Unfortunately, 2011 hasn't exactly begun in stellar fashion for the Redbir ... More >>

  • News

    March 31, 2011
  • News

    March 31, 2011
  • Blogs

    March 31, 2011

    The Opening Day Crystal Ball: 2011 MLB Predictions

    I actually dressed up like this to write this post. I predict the itching of this beard will soon drive me to madness. ​Just a bare handful of hours, now, until the Cardinals' 2011 season gets underway. Plenty of ink and bytes have been spilled talking about what the season may bring, lots of it r ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 15, 2010

    Gerald Laird? Really? Cardinals Make Another Less-Than-Impressive Off-Season Move

    Goodbye, Brendan Ryan. Hello, Gerald Laird. commons.wikimedia.orgGoodbye, high socks, goodbye, fun. ​So this is what building a winner looks like? This is what a championship-caliber team feels like? Interesting. I always thought winning would feel good. I always kind of pictured the fee ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 30, 2010

    Cardinals Acquire Ryan Theriot; Columnist Scrambles for Non-Abusive Commentary

    Get it? 'Cause it's the Riot? Hahahahaha! ​The Cardinals have completed a trade with the Los Angeles Dodgers for infielder Ryan Theriot, sending Blake Hawksworth to LA in return. Blake takes with him a wickedly awesome name and much less wickedly awesome pitching skills. Theriot brings versatility ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 9, 2010

    Another Japanese Option for the Cards' Middle Infield?​A while back I wrote about a shortstop playing in the NPB (Nippon Professional Baseball, the equivalent of our Major Leagues), named Hiroyuki Nakajima. One of the top hitters in Japan, he was hoping to be posted by his team, the Saitama Seibu Lions, and sign with an American ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 21, 2009

    The Return of Chris Carpenter

    So how did Chris Carpenter look in his big return? Well, he looked like Chris Carpenter, to be completely honest. Actually, that's not entirely true. He did have to get out of a couple jams, after all. 

  • Blogs

    December 31, 2008

    Aaron Miles: Upping the Cubs' Grit

    Okay, I have to say, I just flat out don't know what to make of this. Apparently, the Cubs have just signed Aaron Miles. Huh. Alright, everyone who saw this coming, raise your hands. Be honest. Yes, that means you. That's right, put your hand back down. Seriously, has there ever, and I mean eve ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 2, 2008

    The 2008 Cubs: What Cards Fans Should Know

    Tonight, it begins. The annual revival of the Cardinal-Cubs rivalry starts again tonight at Busch Stadium, right around seven o'clock. What makes this particular series even more intriguing than the usual Cards-Cubs drama is the fact that this series will determine, for a day or two at least, ... More >>