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Blogs
May 15, 2012
Should We Be Worried About Cardinals' 0-4 Slump?
The Cardinals are mired in their first real slump of the season. That's not to say the Cards haven't faced any adversity before now, of course; there have been a couple of really tough losses already in 2012, and they have seemed to come in bunches, little clusters of misery amidst what has bee ... More >>
Blogs
May 1, 2012
Allen Craig to Return Tonight
The Cardinals have been one of the best offensive teams in all of baseball so far this season, ranking behind only three American League teams (who obviously have the benefit of the designated hitter), as far as OPS. In runs scored, the Atlanta Braves currently have an edge on the Cards for the top ... More >>
Blogs
February 3, 2012
Skip Schumaker Rally Squirrel Card Going For $255
The previously mocked Skip Schumaker Rally Squirrel baseball card from Topps is successfully being sold for $255 on eBay. The actual Skip Schumaker card from the same series is going for $1, with a $2 charge for shipping and handling. Also, it seems you can return the real Skip card if you don't ... More >>
Blogs
February 2, 2012
Pujols 5 Is Changing Its Name, but Sadly Not to Any of These Suggestions
(c) 2012 ToppsAnd take your restaurant with you, mang!Pujols 5 Westport Grill (342 Westport Plaza, Maryland Heights; 314-439-0595) is no more. With Albert Anaheim-bound, the owners of the restaurant bearing his name and number announced today that, effective immediately, it will be known as t ... More >>
Blogs
January 30, 2012
Skip Schumaker's Baseball Card Is Nuts, But Not The Worst Ever
(c) Topps Inc.Topps is just screwing with Cardinals fans now. According to Rick Chandler at Off The Bench, Skip Schumaker's baseball card in the forthcoming Topps' Series 1 features Schumaker's right ankle only, with most of the card given over to the Rally Squirrel.A spokesman for Topps said the ... More >>
News
December 22, 2011
Cardinals re-sign Schumaker, but why?
(c) Topps Inc.Topps is just screwing with Cardinals fans now. According to Rick Chandler at Off The Bench, Skip Schumaker's baseball card in the forthcoming Topps' Series 1 features Schumaker's right ankle only, with most of the card given over to the Rally Squirrel.A spokesman for Topps said the ... More >>
Blogs
December 13, 2011
Cardinals Re-Sign Skip Schumaker; Local Columnist Sighs Deeply and Shakes Head
Image ViaI have a piece of advice for anyone out there who has an athletic child. If your child has the choice of playing football or baseball, you push him toward baseball. Given the choice between basketball and baseball, choose baseball. Soccer or baseball? Always baseball. Oh, you say he coul ... More >>
Blogs
October 24, 2011
Four Cardinals Starters Batting Sub-200 Through Series
If this image looks like it came from an E-D website, there's good reason for that.First of all, Joe Buck and Tim McCarver, yesterday was not the colossal St. Louis sports failure that you made it out to be during last night's World Series broadcast. No one in their right mind here in St. Louis t ... More >>
Blogs
September 27, 2011
Cardinals Earn Dubious Distinction: Hit Into Most Double Plays in NL History
Well, folks, it finally happened. The Cardinals last night wrote themselves into the record books. Regardless of whether the Redbirds squeak out a wild-card birth over the next two days, the 2011 season will live in infamy. Last night, en route to a soul-crushing 5-4 extra innings loss to th ... More >>
Blogs
May 23, 2011
How to Ruin a Roster Without Even Trying
John Mozeliak, left, and Tony LaRussa celebrate their latest brilliant maneuver. Cardinal management has really outdone themselves this time. I've actually been pleasantly surprised by the job Tony LaRussa and Company have done managing the 2011 team to this point, but this is just mind-numbin ... More >>
Blogs
May 5, 2011
Cardinals On Pace To Shatter MLB Record for Hitting Into Double Plays
Would you believe this was the cleanest image I could find to go along with this article? No, the DP Blues is not what an adult film starlet gets after a particularly taxing week at work. The DP Blues is what the Cardinals have right now, and have had ever since Albert Pujols grounded into not on ... More >>
Blogs
April 4, 2011
5 Lessons From the Cardinals' First Three Games
All right, listen up, kids. This moderately attractive and no doubt long-dead teacher from Pleasantville is gonna learn you up reeeaal nice. One series in the can, god only knows how many more to go in the baseball season. Unfortunately, 2011 hasn't exactly begun in stellar fashion for the Redbir ... More >>
News
March 31, 2011
It's Cardinals Time! St. Louis Cardinals Opening Day 2011
All right, listen up, kids. This moderately attractive and no doubt long-dead teacher from Pleasantville is gonna learn you up reeeaal nice. One series in the can, god only knows how many more to go in the baseball season. Unfortunately, 2011 hasn't exactly begun in stellar fashion for the Redbir ... More >>
News
March 31, 2011
Music to Swing To: An at-bat tune can tell you a lot about a player
All right, listen up, kids. This moderately attractive and no doubt long-dead teacher from Pleasantville is gonna learn you up reeeaal nice. One series in the can, god only knows how many more to go in the baseball season. Unfortunately, 2011 hasn't exactly begun in stellar fashion for the Redbir ... More >>
News
March 31, 2011
Smoke 'Em If You Got 'Em: Think of the 2011 Redbirds as your emphysemic, three-pack-a-day uncle
All right, listen up, kids. This moderately attractive and no doubt long-dead teacher from Pleasantville is gonna learn you up reeeaal nice. One series in the can, god only knows how many more to go in the baseball season. Unfortunately, 2011 hasn't exactly begun in stellar fashion for the Redbir ... More >>
Blogs
February 21, 2011
5 Worst Wines with Which to Celebrate American Wine Appreciation Week
www.motifake.comAccording to the Internets, the week of February 21 is American Wine Appreciation Week, so christened in 1993 by our nation's 42nd president, William Jefferson Clinton. The celebration kicked off this past Friday with a pre-party (as it were) known as National Drink Wine Day ... More >>
Blogs
January 18, 2011
What the Rams Can Learn From the Jets Defeat of Patriots
commons.wikimedia.orgBill Belichick is still the smartest coach in the NFL. He doesn't make many plays on the field, though. It wasn't supposed to end like this for the New England Patriots. It wasn't supposed to be this way at all. They were the unbeatable playoff monster, the team that put up 3 ... More >>
Blogs
December 9, 2010
Five Picks for Cardinals' Rule 5 Draft
Players line up to be fawned over and poked at in preparation for the Rule 5 draft. Baseball's Winter Meetings will come to an end today, with the annual Rule 5 draft one of the final items on the itinerary. In case you aren't familiar with the Rule 5 draft, here's a decent overview of how it all ... More >>
Blogs
November 30, 2010
Cardinals Acquire Ryan Theriot; Columnist Scrambles for Non-Abusive Commentary
Get it? 'Cause it's the Riot? Hahahahaha! The Cardinals have completed a trade with the Los Angeles Dodgers for infielder Ryan Theriot, sending Blake Hawksworth to LA in return. Blake takes with him a wickedly awesome name and much less wickedly awesome pitching skills. Theriot brings versatility ... More >>
Blogs
October 20, 2010
The Cardinals Have an Infield Question; The Import Market May Have an Answer
Okay, before everyone gets all pissed off at me, I don't have anything personal against Skip Schumaker. I don't. Scout's honor. I mean, I don't really get the whole handsome thing with Skip, but that's mostly a matter of taste. I'll swoon at the mere mention of Joe Mather, and every so often in j ... More >>
Blogs
September 16, 2010
The Ryan Ludwick Deal in Hindsight
commons.wikimedia.orgRyan Ludwick is coming back to St. Louis, y'all! Okay, so he's not coming back the way you're probably hoping. He'll just be coming back to play against the Cardinals as part of a San Diego Padres team which suddenly finds itself in the midst of a fight for its playoff l ... More >>
Blogs
September 14, 2010
Wainwright, Schumaker Caught Relieving Tension of Long Season
Quick, does it look like Cardinals players Adam Wainwright and Skip Schumaker are, um, gratifying each other here? H/T: Deadspin.Still, when it comes to great moments revolving sports and pantomime penis pulling, nothing tops the video of that Texas Tech bell ringer from a few years ago. Classic. Ju ... More >>
Blogs
August 10, 2010
Skip Schumaker Objects to Column; Finds Support Among Blind Squirrel, Broken Clock Communities
commons.wikimedia.orgSkip Schumaker, almost assuredly putting a ball into the bleachers somewhere. Apparently Skip Schumaker doesn't like conjecture he may, in fact, be the worst everyday player in the big leagues. Of course, the first grand slam of his career doesn't change anything beyond last ... More >>
Blogs
August 9, 2010
Skip Schumaker Nominated as Worst Player in Baseball
commons.wikimedia.orgSchumaker, almost assuredly grounding out to the right side. Joe Posnanski, who every year hands out a Least Valuable Player award to the player who exemplifies the principles of failing to help their team in any measurable way, shape, or form, has unofficially nominated ten ... More >>
Blogs
July 15, 2010
Five Keys to the Cardinals' Second Half
Hey, it's a key, it works. (Also a forgotten classic of power pop you should totally pick up if you ever see it like at a yard sale or something.) The second "half" of the baseball season kicks off for the Cardinals tonight (and I put "half" in quotes because technically we passed the halfw ... More >>
Blogs
June 28, 2010
The Cardinals Weekend Review: A Royal Letdown
This Royal did NOT start against the Cardinals over the weekend; however, I'm convinced he could have thrown six shutout without much of a problem. So the 2010 edition of the I-70 series went about as poorly as one could possibly imagine. The Cardinals managed to lose two of three, Aaron Miles pl ... More >>
Blogs
May 20, 2010
St. Louis Cardinals Twitter Accounts You Should Follow
Keep up on the latest 140-character bursts of news, humor and statistics related to the St. Louis Cardinals on Twitter with this list of accounts you should follow, curated by the RFT staff. The tweeters below are all real people with opinions and we've excluded those Twitter accounts that simply ... More >>
Blogs
May 13, 2010
Is McGwire to Blame for Cardinals' Lack of Offensive? The Numbers Don't Suggest It
So a little over a month into the season, the Cardinals' pitching, particularly the starting pitching, has been absolutely exquisite, while the offense has been, um, let's see...what's the opposite of exquisite? Maybe not the opposite, actually; how about something that's well short of exquisite but ... More >>
Blogs
May 7, 2010
The Philadelphia Story: A Progress Report One Month In
It was supposed to be the Cardinals' measuring stick for the young season, this trip to Philadelphia. Up until now the Cards had looked like the 700-pound red gorilla of old, stomping on opponents left and right and running up a big lead over the rest of a mediocre division. Going to Philly, thou ... More >>
Blogs
February 9, 2010
Skip Schumaker: Two-Year Deal, Still Zero Respect
encoretheater.orgThe Elves being referred to here? The ones working behind the scenes to get the job done? Oh, yeah, that was me. Okay, now I don't expect a bunch of thanks or anything from everybody, but I want you all to know. I was instrumental in the Cardinals and Skip Schumaker getting a dea ... More >>
Blogs
October 7, 2009
Back In the Saddle (Hopefully, Anyway)
For the past couple of weeks, I've been feeling really kind of rough. Not sick, necessarily, but just not all that well. Every few days, I would feel a little better, but then the next day it would be right back down. I had a hell of a time mustering the wherewithall to complete much of anything. No ... More >>
Blogs
September 4, 2009
Game Notes: Brewers 4, Cardinals 3 03/09/09 -- Opportunity, Missed.
-- I really, really hate Casey McGehee. I don't know how else to say it, so there it is. No real personal beef with the guy, mind you, but when you pick up nine RBIs in a single series against the Cardinals, you're just going to have to deal with me not liking you. It's really only fitting the Brewe ... More >>
Blogs
July 17, 2009
The Cardinals Second Half Preview
First, and most importantly, you'll have to forgive the lack of a clever title. I thought and thought, then thought some more, and really just didn't like any of the options I came up with. Some were too obscure, some not obscure enough, some didn't make much sense, still others lacked any tie to th ... More >>
News
June 10, 2009
Readers are mad for (and about) St. Louis' most famous Hungarian
First, and most importantly, you'll have to forgive the lack of a clever title. I thought and thought, then thought some more, and really just didn't like any of the options I came up with. Some were too obscure, some not obscure enough, some didn't make much sense, still others lacked any tie to th ... More >>
Blogs
April 16, 2009
Cardinals Post-Game Notes: April 16, 2009
Just a couple of quick impressions from the Cards' first contest of the year against the Chicago Nine.
Blogs
March 27, 2009
Baseball Card of the Week: Skip "2B" Schumaker
Well, it's already gone much, much further than I ever thought it would. The Skip Schumaker Experiment at second base is going to continue in to the regular season. Of course, we all pretty much knew that by now, but having it announced by the team's General Manager sort of brings it home a bit ... More >>
Blogs
February 26, 2009
Top 10 Stories about the 2009 St. Louis Cardinals
Spring training is officially underway, with real, no-foolin' games being played and everything. The beginning of a long, twisty road that leads through summer and into autumn, hopefully ending late in October with a nice, new piece of hardware to add to the trophy case at Busch Stadium.At the very ... More >>
Blogs
January 5, 2009
Bargain Shopping, the Cardinal Way
Ah, January. Bringer of frigid temperatures, NFL playoff games, and suicides by the bucketful. The holiday season is officially over. Christmas has come and gone, and the New Year has been rung. Truly, these are the darkest days of all for the retail industry. Thus, one other thing always comes ... More >>
Blogs
August 27, 2008
There's a Logjam in the Cardinals Outfield
Ah, January. Bringer of frigid temperatures, NFL playoff games, and suicides by the bucketful. The holiday season is officially over. Christmas has come and gone, and the New Year has been rung. Truly, these are the darkest days of all for the retail industry. Thus, one other thing always comes ... More >>
Blogs
July 14, 2008
Four Positive Notes for the Cardinals at the All-Star Break
Ah, January. Bringer of frigid temperatures, NFL playoff games, and suicides by the bucketful. The holiday season is officially over. Christmas has come and gone, and the New Year has been rung. Truly, these are the darkest days of all for the retail industry. Thus, one other thing always comes ... More >>
Blogs
May 27, 2008
The Cardinals: Where Do They Go From Here?
Ah, January. Bringer of frigid temperatures, NFL playoff games, and suicides by the bucketful. The holiday season is officially over. Christmas has come and gone, and the New Year has been rung. Truly, these are the darkest days of all for the retail industry. Thus, one other thing always comes ... More >>
Blogs
May 20, 2008
Ludwick Leading Cardinal Offense, Really
Ah, January. Bringer of frigid temperatures, NFL playoff games, and suicides by the bucketful. The holiday season is officially over. Christmas has come and gone, and the New Year has been rung. Truly, these are the darkest days of all for the retail industry. Thus, one other thing always comes ... More >>
Blogs
May 12, 2008
Cards Blog: Searching for Answers in a Frustrating Roadtrip
Ah, January. Bringer of frigid temperatures, NFL playoff games, and suicides by the bucketful. The holiday season is officially over. Christmas has come and gone, and the New Year has been rung. Truly, these are the darkest days of all for the retail industry. Thus, one other thing always comes ... More >>
Blogs
May 12, 2008
Cards Blog: Searching for Answers in a Frustrating Roadtrip
Ah, January. Bringer of frigid temperatures, NFL playoff games, and suicides by the bucketful. The holiday season is officially over. Christmas has come and gone, and the New Year has been rung. Truly, these are the darkest days of all for the retail industry. Thus, one other thing always comes ... More >>
Blogs
April 11, 2008
Simply Offensive: The Cardinals' Attack
Ah, January. Bringer of frigid temperatures, NFL playoff games, and suicides by the bucketful. The holiday season is officially over. Christmas has come and gone, and the New Year has been rung. Truly, these are the darkest days of all for the retail industry. Thus, one other thing always comes ... More >>
Blogs
April 11, 2008
Simply Offensive: The Cardinals' Attack
Ah, January. Bringer of frigid temperatures, NFL playoff games, and suicides by the bucketful. The holiday season is officially over. Christmas has come and gone, and the New Year has been rung. Truly, these are the darkest days of all for the retail industry. Thus, one other thing always comes ... More >>
Blogs
April 4, 2008
Cards Blog: What to Watch for Against the Nats
Ah, January. Bringer of frigid temperatures, NFL playoff games, and suicides by the bucketful. The holiday season is officially over. Christmas has come and gone, and the New Year has been rung. Truly, these are the darkest days of all for the retail industry. Thus, one other thing always comes ... More >>
Blogs
April 4, 2008
Cards Blog: What to Watch for Against the Nats
Ah, January. Bringer of frigid temperatures, NFL playoff games, and suicides by the bucketful. The holiday season is officially over. Christmas has come and gone, and the New Year has been rung. Truly, these are the darkest days of all for the retail industry. Thus, one other thing always comes ... More >>
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