Subject:

Skip Schumaker

  • Blogs

    October 14, 2013

    Ten Ways to Act Like an Unrepentant Cardinals Fan and BFIB

    You guys, what a weekend we had. Up two games to nil on the Dodgers? St. Louis fans have a lot to be happy about this Monday morning (not to mention the success of the Rams, Blues and Mizzou over the weekend). The weekend's wins have almost washed away the ugliness we saw last week, an ire that seem ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 24, 2012

    The Cardinals' Offensively Awesome Offense

    So the Cardinals actually managed to finish off the sweep of the Houston Astros yesterday. I have to admit, I'm a little surprised they pulled it off. Not because the Astros are a particularly tough test; they are far and away the worst team in baseball, and the fact Jeff Luhnow has decided to ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 1, 2012

    Allen Craig to Return Tonight

    The Cardinals have been one of the best offensive teams in all of baseball so far this season, ranking behind only three American League teams (who obviously have the benefit of the designated hitter), as far as OPS. In runs scored, the Atlanta Braves currently have an edge on the Cards for the top ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 3, 2012

    Skip Schumaker Rally Squirrel Card Going For $255

    ​The previously mocked Skip Schumaker Rally Squirrel baseball card from Topps is successfully being sold for $255 on eBay. The actual Skip Schumaker card from the same series is going for $1, with a $2 charge for shipping and handling. Also, it seems you can return the real Skip card if you don't ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 2, 2012

    Pujols 5 Is Changing Its Name, but Sadly Not to Any of These Suggestions

    (c) 2012 ToppsAnd take your restaurant with you, mang!​Pujols 5 Westport Grill (342 Westport Plaza, Maryland Heights; 314-439-0595) is no more. With Albert Anaheim-bound, the owners of the restaurant bearing his name and number announced today that, effective immediately, it will be known as t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 30, 2012

    Skip Schumaker's Baseball Card Is Nuts, But Not The Worst Ever

    (c) Topps Inc.​Topps is just screwing with Cardinals fans now. According to Rick Chandler at Off The Bench, Skip Schumaker's baseball card in the forthcoming Topps' Series 1 features Schumaker's right ankle only, with most of the card given over to the Rally Squirrel.A spokesman for Topps said the ... More >>

  • News

    December 22, 2011
  • Blogs

    December 13, 2011

    Cardinals Re-Sign Skip Schumaker; Local Columnist Sighs Deeply and Shakes Head

    Image Via​I have a piece of advice for anyone out there who has an athletic child. If your child has the choice of playing football or baseball, you push him toward baseball. Given the choice between basketball and baseball, choose baseball. Soccer or baseball? Always baseball. Oh, you say he coul ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 24, 2011

    Four Cardinals Starters Batting Sub-200 Through Series

    If this image looks like it came from an E-D website, there's good reason for that.​First of all, Joe Buck and Tim McCarver, yesterday was not the colossal St. Louis sports failure that you made it out to be during last night's World Series broadcast. No one in their right mind here in St. Louis t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 23, 2011

    How to Ruin a Roster Without Even Trying

    John Mozeliak, left, and Tony LaRussa celebrate their latest brilliant maneuver. ​​Cardinal management has really outdone themselves this time. I've actually been pleasantly surprised by the job Tony LaRussa and Company have done managing the 2011 team to this point, but this is just mind-numbin ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 5, 2011

    Cardinals On Pace To Shatter MLB Record for Hitting Into Double Plays

    Would you believe this was the cleanest image I could find to go along with this article? ​No, the DP Blues is not what an adult film starlet gets after a particularly taxing week at work. The DP Blues is what the Cardinals have right now, and have had ever since Albert Pujols grounded into not on ... More >>

  • News

    March 31, 2011
  • News

    March 31, 2011
  • Blogs

    February 21, 2011

    5 Worst Wines with Which to Celebrate American Wine Appreciation Week

    www.motifake.com​According to the Internets, the week of February 21 is American Wine Appreciation Week, so christened in 1993 by our nation's 42nd president, William Jefferson Clinton. The celebration kicked off this past Friday with a pre-party (as it were) known as National Drink Wine Day ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 9, 2010

    Five Picks for Cardinals' Rule 5 Draft

    Players line up to be fawned over and poked at in preparation for the Rule 5 draft. ​Baseball's Winter Meetings will come to an end today, with the annual Rule 5 draft one of the final items on the itinerary. In case you aren't familiar with the Rule 5 draft, here's a decent overview of how it all ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 30, 2010

    Cardinals Acquire Ryan Theriot; Columnist Scrambles for Non-Abusive Commentary

    Get it? 'Cause it's the Riot? Hahahahaha! ​The Cardinals have completed a trade with the Los Angeles Dodgers for infielder Ryan Theriot, sending Blake Hawksworth to LA in return. Blake takes with him a wickedly awesome name and much less wickedly awesome pitching skills. Theriot brings versatility ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 20, 2010

    The Cardinals Have an Infield Question; The Import Market May Have an Answer

    ​Okay, before everyone gets all pissed off at me, I don't have anything personal against Skip Schumaker. I don't. Scout's honor. I mean, I don't really get the whole handsome thing with Skip, but that's mostly a matter of taste. I'll swoon at the mere mention of Joe Mather, and every so often in j ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 16, 2010

    The Ryan Ludwick Deal in Hindsight

    commons.wikimedia.org​Ryan Ludwick is coming back to St. Louis, y'all! Okay, so he's not coming back the way you're probably hoping. He'll just be coming back to play against the Cardinals as part of a San Diego Padres team which suddenly finds itself in the midst of a fight for its playoff l ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 14, 2010

    Wainwright, Schumaker Caught Relieving Tension of Long Season

    Quick, does it look like Cardinals players Adam Wainwright and Skip Schumaker are, um, gratifying each other here? H/T: Deadspin.Still, when it comes to great moments revolving sports and pantomime penis pulling, nothing tops the video of that Texas Tech bell ringer from a few years ago. Classic. Ju ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 10, 2010

    Skip Schumaker Objects to Column; Finds Support Among Blind Squirrel, Broken Clock Communities

    commons.wikimedia.orgSkip Schumaker, almost assuredly putting a ball into the bleachers somewhere. ​Apparently Skip Schumaker doesn't like conjecture he may, in fact, be the worst everyday player in the big leagues. Of course, the first grand slam of his career doesn't change anything beyond last ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 9, 2010

    Skip Schumaker Nominated as Worst Player in Baseball

    commons.wikimedia.orgSchumaker, almost assuredly grounding out to the right side. ​Joe Posnanski, who every year hands out a Least Valuable Player award to the player who exemplifies the principles of failing to help their team in any measurable way, shape, or form, has unofficially nominated ten ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 15, 2010

    Five Keys to the Cardinals' Second Half

    Hey, it's a key, it works. (Also a forgotten classic of power pop you should totally pick up if you ever see it like at a yard sale or something.) ​The second "half" of the baseball season kicks off for the Cardinals tonight (and I put "half" in quotes because technically we passed the halfw ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 28, 2010

    The Cardinals Weekend Review: A Royal Letdown

    This Royal did NOT start against the Cardinals over the weekend; however, I'm convinced he could have thrown six shutout without much of a problem. ​So the 2010 edition of the I-70 series went about as poorly as one could possibly imagine. The Cardinals managed to lose two of three, Aaron Miles pl ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 20, 2010

    St. Louis Cardinals Twitter Accounts You Should Follow

    ​Keep up on the latest 140-character bursts of news, humor and statistics related to the St. Louis Cardinals on Twitter with this list of accounts you should follow, curated by the RFT staff. The tweeters below are all real people with opinions and we've excluded those Twitter accounts that simply ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 13, 2010

    Is McGwire to Blame for Cardinals' Lack of Offensive? The Numbers Don't Suggest It

    So a little over a month into the season, the Cardinals' pitching, particularly the starting pitching, has been absolutely exquisite, while the offense has been, um, let's see...what's the opposite of exquisite? Maybe not the opposite, actually; how about something that's well short of exquisite but ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 7, 2010

    The Philadelphia Story: A Progress Report One Month In

    ​It was supposed to be the Cardinals' measuring stick for the young season, this trip to Philadelphia. Up until now the Cards had looked like the 700-pound red gorilla of old, stomping on opponents left and right and running up a big lead over the rest of a mediocre division. Going to Philly, thou ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 9, 2010

    Skip Schumaker: Two-Year Deal, Still Zero Respect

    encoretheater.orgThe Elves being referred to here? The ones working behind the scenes to get the job done? Oh, yeah, that was me. ​Okay, now I don't expect a bunch of thanks or anything from everybody, but I want you all to know. I was instrumental in the Cardinals and Skip Schumaker getting a dea ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 7, 2009

    Back In the Saddle (Hopefully, Anyway)

    For the past couple of weeks, I've been feeling really kind of rough. Not sick, necessarily, but just not all that well. Every few days, I would feel a little better, but then the next day it would be right back down. I had a hell of a time mustering the wherewithall to complete much of anything. No ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 4, 2009

    Game Notes: Brewers 4, Cardinals 3 03/09/09 -- Opportunity, Missed.

    -- I really, really hate Casey McGehee. I don't know how else to say it, so there it is. No real personal beef with the guy, mind you, but when you pick up nine RBIs in a single series against the Cardinals, you're just going to have to deal with me not liking you. It's really only fitting the Brewe ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 17, 2009

    The Cardinals Second Half Preview

    First, and most importantly, you'll have to forgive the lack of a clever title. I thought and thought, then thought some more, and really just didn't like any of the options I came up with. Some were too obscure, some not obscure enough, some didn't make much sense, still others lacked any tie to th ... More >>

  • News

    June 10, 2009
  • Blogs

    April 16, 2009

    Cardinals Post-Game Notes: April 16, 2009

    Just a couple of quick impressions from the Cards' first contest of the year against the Chicago Nine.  

  • Blogs

    March 27, 2009

    Baseball Card of the Week: Skip "2B" Schumaker

    Well, it's already gone much, much further than I ever thought it would. The Skip Schumaker Experiment at second base is going to continue in to the regular season. Of course, we all pretty much knew that by now, but having it announced by the team's General Manager sort of brings it home a bit ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 27, 2009

    Tony La Russa: "The Mozart of Overmanagers"

    Kansas City Star columnist Joe Posnanski penned a piece for Sports Illustrated today that attempts to break down what happens inside the manic mind of Cardinals manager Tony La Russa during spring training. In short, Posnanski suggests that TLR spends much of his time reveling in how much more ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 27, 2009

    Baseball Card of the Week: Jose Oquendo

    Given the recent hoopla regarding Jose Oquendo and the self-proclaimed lord of pitching in Puerto Rico, Joel Pineiro, I thought that the Secret Weapon could use a feature. You know, show him that we're all behind him, and are perfectly well aware that El Pinata is not a good pitcher in any way, shap ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 26, 2009

    Top 10 Stories about the 2009 St. Louis Cardinals

    Spring training is officially underway, with real, no-foolin' games being played and everything. The beginning of a long, twisty road that leads through summer and into autumn, hopefully ending late in October with a nice, new piece of hardware to add to the trophy case at Busch Stadium.At the very ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 5, 2009

    Bargain Shopping, the Cardinal Way

    Ah, January. Bringer of frigid temperatures, NFL playoff games, and suicides by the bucketful. The holiday season is officially over. Christmas has come and gone, and the New Year has been rung. Truly, these are the darkest days of all for the retail industry. Thus, one other thing always comes ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 27, 2008
  • Blogs

    July 14, 2008

    Four Positive Notes for the Cardinals at the All-Star Break

    Ah, the All-Star break. That special time of the year when we all huddle up together around the television with a big bowl of popcorn and listen to Chris Berman make an ass of himself calling the Home Run Derby and then watch one of the biggest farces in all of sports. That's right, everybody! We th ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 27, 2008

    The Cardinals: Where Do They Go From Here?

    So, where do we go from here? (Vote on your changes here). Memorial Day has come and gone. The first real holiday of summer always provides a nice opportunity to look around and take stock of a baseball team; to assess the strengths, weaknesses, and everything in between. So, what have we learned s ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 20, 2008
  • Blogs

    May 8, 2008

    Cards Blog: A Nasty Bullpen Pattern Emerges

    So far this year, we've seen the Cardinals win games in a lot of different ways. We've seen great starting performances carry the day, despite little offense. We've seen mediocre starting performances get bailed out by solid offensive contributions. We've even seen games in which the bullpen, coming ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 8, 2008

    Cards Blog: A Nasty Bullpen Pattern Emerges

    So far this year, we've seen the Cardinals win games in a lot of different ways. We've seen great starting performances carry the day, despite little offense. We've seen mediocre starting performances get bailed out by solid offensive contributions. We've even seen games in which the bullpen, coming ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 30, 2008

    Cards Blog: Schumaker Won't be at Shortstop

    Lately, one of the hot topics around the various Internet message boards, talk radio and, I'm sure, the good old-fashioned water cooler, is Skip Schumaker. More specifically, the fact that Schumaker played shortstop in school. Given the Cardinals' weakness in the middle infield, why not just mov ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 11, 2008

    Simply Offensive: The Cardinals' Attack

    Just the type of loss that the Cardinals need to avoid, and just the kind I'm afraid we may see more of. With the fortunes of the National League Central looking stronger so far this year, if the Cardinals have any chance of seriously contending this season, they need to take advantage of their ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 11, 2008

    Simply Offensive: The Cardinals' Attack

    Just the type of loss that the Cardinals need to avoid, and just the kind I'm afraid we may see more of. With the fortunes of the National League Central looking stronger so far this year, if the Cardinals have any chance of seriously contending this season, they need to take advantage of their ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 4, 2008

    Cards Blog: What to Watch for Against the Nats

    The Washington Nationals are coming to town! Hmm, not really that exciting, huh? Well, they’re not a great team by any stretch of the imagination, so maybe you can be excused for thinking that. However, a weak team is just what the doctor ordered for the Cardinals. They just took two of three f ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 4, 2008

    Cards Blog: What to Watch for Against the Nats

    The Washington Nationals are coming to town! Hmm, not really that exciting, huh? Well, they’re not a great team by any stretch of the imagination, so maybe you can be excused for thinking that. However, a weak team is just what the doctor ordered for the Cardinals. They just took two of three f ... More >>

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