Sam J. the Barber
Owner, Professional Cuts and Styles
"You know, it's been so long I don't remember [who it was], but my current lady, it's so good with her it's like I'm a virgin all over again when we do have sex. Every time is like my first time."
Attorney, Kodner, Watkins, Muchnick, Dunne & Weigley
"I keep in contact with all the women to whom I've lost my virginity. I like to believe I lose a little each time the wind blows."
Norman C. Hamilton
Retired Deckhand, Gateway Harbor Service
"No, she's been dead for 46 years now. JoAnn, she was my school-days sweetheart. I probably would've married her if she hadn't...anyway, she was a cute kid. I really miss her."
"Oh, no! I grew up in a trailer park in South Carolina, and I lost my virginity to my babysitter. I was 17 and she was 34. And when we were finished, she took potted meat product, rubbed it on her crotch and let the cat lick it off. I excused myself to the bathroom, climbed out the window and never saw that trailer-park floozy again."
Adjunct Faculty, Communications -- SIU Edwardsville
"No, my mother would never approve. He was not marriage material. As my mom, the ex-nun, would say: 'If you're going to give it up, make sure it's marriage material.'"
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