Dear Lindell Boulevard,
Baby, we need to talk. Look, it's been swell driving on you from the Central West End to Skinker for the past few years. Few two-mile drives in St. Louis are as gorgeous as yours; there's Forest Park on the left and tons of stately, manicured mansions on the right. But someone else recently came back into our life: Forest Park Parkway. Yes, it's been three long years since the breakup, but now that she's returned, going back to her dipping and swelling curves is just too tempting. Plus, her view of the CWE's sparkling high-rises and hospitals is so breathtakingly beautiful especially at sunset. Oh, and the traffic! Baby, the road's practically empty, even during rush hour. (And Lindy, honey, there's nary a car ever blocking a curb lane, unlike you on the weekends.) Plus, Forest Park Parkway's speed limit is a generous 40 mph, a far cry from your frigid, "no tolerance" 35. Please understand: The love's still there between us. But we have to scale back our driving relationship and make it purely platonic. Can we still be friends?
With love always, A St. Louis Commuter