What's Your Favorite Excuse When Stopped for a Traffic Violation?
"I didn't know there was a speed trap here."
What Was Your Great Entrepreneurial Idea?
"I tried to sell pieces of my soul on eBay -- a limited edition of 100 with a certificate of authenticity -- only they stopped me after three days, saying, 'You can't sell body parts.' I wrote them, 'Well, my soul isn't a body part, and, besides, how can you prove it even exists?'"
What Is the Golden Rule for Your Gender?
Terry Armbruster/Server, Weber's Front Row
"The Golden Rule? American Express Gold Card, 24K-gold jewelry and a golden penis."
Do You Wear Your Jock a Lot?
"The last time I wore a jock, I was using it as a contraceptive while sleeping with a Catholic girl."
What Are Your Thoughts Mostly About?
K.C. Crofts/Blood Services Coordinator, American Red Cross
"My cat, when I leave her. I'm wondering, 'Is she bored? Is she sitting in the window looking for me?' I'm wondering about where she's going to barf in the house, because she barfs a lot. And this is the saddest thing: I'm wondering if she's missing me while I'm gone."
Is All Animal Life, Excluding Human Beings, Equally Valuable?
Sal Esposito/Team Leader, All-Nude Outward Bound
"You know what kills me? When species disappear -- like the dodo, or the buffalo. I had a buffalo steak once, the size of a skillet and 2 inches thick. A monster. Best piece of meat I ever had. And to think those things were almost extinct!"
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