"Do I have lawsuits? Does a dog have fleas? I have back-pay disputes going with two universities, a malpractice suit in my dad's death -- which I won -- and a possible malpractice suit against my attorney. And I have somebody suing me when she had a blowout on Highway 40, ran down the whole side of my car and said it's my fault. Basically I've had a string of bad luck these last eight years."
Dick Howell Jr.
"I tried to sue Carly Simon for You're So Vain, because I just know that song really was about me. But the lawyer said I had to produce the apricot scarf she mentions in the song, and I had already given it to Goodwill."
Student, Kansas University
"Well, I've almost sued someone. You know those tap lights they have on the late-night infomercials? My roommates talked me into buying one. I made the call, and they signed me up for some membership, $75 for that, and the bills just kept coming. I went to a lawyer, and he told me to raise hell with them and if that didn't work, call him back. That light was supposed to cost $6.95, and it ended up costing $400."
Host, The Other One, KDHX-FM
"I nearly sued the baseball Cardinals for unauthorized use of my photo. They had permission to use my face on one promotional item, a schedule, and they used it on five different items and they didn't want to pay extra. My lawyer advised me what to say, and, after a major bitchfest, I got satisfaction. And it was nice, them paying me instead of paying them all the time."
"Anyone would be a fool to sue me, because all I have is a ton of credit-card debt and a cat, but I once saw a grown man bawl like a baby when he saw his legal bill."
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