Chris "Where's My Bandsaw?" Muich
Maintenance Man, Kohner Properties
"Women with ugly feet that wear open-toed shoes -- it's terrifying. You see it too often: Their big toe is smaller than the one next to it, or their toenails are nasty with toe jam...hairy toes, snaggle-toes, mutated toes -- can't have it. It scares the hell out of me."
Customer Service, Hollywood Video
"It's the fear of my own mortality -- not so much dying but the fear of living with a terrible illness or handicap. The idea that I'm not indestructible is much more scary than being destroyed."
Owner/Technician, Clayton Recording Studio
"Really cheesy elevator music. Nothing like hearing a great rock song from your wanton youth that's now being played by The Hollyridge Strings -- that's about as scary as it gets. The other day I heard "Satisfaction" in the elevator, and to hear it being plucked on a harp makes you want to get off at the first available floor and take the stairs."
"The huge bugs in St. Louis -- like something out of Jurassic Park! The dragonflies are the size of birds; the millipedes are the size of night crawlers. They scare us to death! And the spiders here are so creepy, like these huge Halloween-looking things with spindly legs and everything. I squished one, and it still jumped around. They look very aggressive, like they could dismember you and drag you off to their lair and not even care."
"White people. Every time I see 'em, I'm either in court or I'm getting handcuffed."
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