Financial Planner, Marquette Financial
"Mid-October, I was in the checkout line at the market when a woman behind me said she was amazed that a coworker had been fired that day for playing a joke on the boss by delivering his newspaper with a white powder inside. The boss panicked and called the police, who located the culprit, a mail clerk, and hauled him off to jail. And she said she couldn't believe that they'd actually jailed the poor guy. "
"The guy was a doorman at a bar in Columbia, and he was drunk, just disgusting, when he showed up one day. I mean, he had just crapped in his drawers, and he was stinky. And not only did he get fired on the spot, but they had, like, a buddy thing there, where if you showed up drunk to work you got tossed in the Dumpster. This guy was a big dude, but somehow they managed to get him in there."
"This security officer had already been hired, but when he went to get his license, the record check kicked out an indecent-exposure complaint -- he'd been caught peeing on a wall when he was 14 -- and he was denied his license. I helped him find other work, and the job he finally got paid $2 more an hour. Sometimes the down makes you get up that much higher, depending on your attitude in life."
"That would be me. I was a cook in a 3 a.m. bar, and the owner's family had a bad habit of calling five minutes before the kitchen closed and ordering a bunch of crap. This night, I had already cleaned the kitchen, and when his sister called, I said no to her little midnight-snack order. She called her bro, and he started yelling at me. I just laughed at him. I was working on notice anyway, so getting canned wasn't the worst."
"You know these people with the really high IQs? It was one of those guys, and he worked for the Marine Corps in a computer room, and he ended up getting fired because he farted too much, which I didn't know was possible."
Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.