Kelly von Plonski
Co-owner/Bibliophile, Subterranean Books
"Peace-monger and vegan Dennis Kucinich will get the nod for Democratic presidential nominee. People will turn off their TVs and video games and play more Frisbee. And aliens will abduct President Bush, then probe him for signs of intelligence and find none."
Author, Ice Fishing Tragedies: True Tales From North America
"My wife will tell me she wants a divorce, and I'll tell her I don't want to spend that much money."
Office Manager, Heart of America Bariatrics
"We'll all go back to using pencils, because two out of three pens don't write worth a darn and electronic communication is so impersonal. A pencil gives personality to the page, and it doesn't leak ink and ruin your best blouse. The pencil is my idea of life: Sometimes it gets dull and you have to sharpen it. Sometimes you make a mistake and you have to correct it with the eraser and that means a bit of work -- you can't just press 'delete.'"
Unit Operator, Labadie Power Plant
"I predict that in an upcoming press conference some reporter will ask Bud Selig whether he intends to reinstate Pete Rose back into the good graces of major-league baseball, and Bud will wink and reply, 'You can bet on it.' Prediction number two: No matter who the Boston Red Sox acquire or how much they improve their team on paper, they still won't beat the Yankees."
Server, Charlie Gitto's
"I think that 2004 will be full of surprises! Michael Jackson's first nose will be found on Mars by that NASA rover once it gets moving. Then, after all this time and relentless searching, O.J. Simpson will find the real killer of Nicole, and it will happen on the golf course. Turns out it's his caddie. Finally and best of all, I will marry Mike Piazza and settle down as a New York Mets wife."
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