Recording Secretary, Tom Waits Fan Club
"When I worked in a CD store, a customer told me I sucked big dick because I wouldn't buy his used, scratchy CDs. Well, he called me a bitch first, and I told him to leave and after I told him to leave he said I sucked big dick -- screamed it for everyone to hear -- and he slammed the door. That was rude in a psychotic sort of way."
Arthur L. "Ranger" Wiggins III
"'I'm gonna kick your ass and make you like it.' My brother, Marine Corps Staff Sergeant Edward T. Roberts, said that. Not only did he say it, he done it, and I'm a better man for it."
Michael P.G.G. Randolph
Retired Dean, Christ Church Cathedral
"I was in church with my brother, and a lady in the next pew over turned to him and said, 'Oh, I see you brought your father to church.' And he's ten years my senior -- I don't know what was wrong with that woman!"
English Teacher, International Institute
"This guy's trying to give me a pep talk about how he admires me, being in a wheelchair and still I'm always laughing and joking around. And then he says to me, 'Yeah, because if I was in your situation I'd blow my brains out.' Thanks a lot, buddy. He actually thought he was doing me a favor, coming by and being life's little cheerleader. I would rather be me than him any day of the week."
Bartender, Opa! Bistro
"People just don't say mean things to me, though sometimes I get asked, 'Are they real?', which could be an insult or a compliment, depending on your point of view. Sometimes I answer back, 'Yeah, they're real, and they're fabulous.'"
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