Owner, The Framery
"Well, there's Miracle Ear, the hearing aid, and Miracle Whip, the sandwich spread that goes with just about everything."
Square Dance Caller
"I think we still have miracles, but the Catholic Church doesn't trust them because the claims always come from these hoosier types. It's always some guy in a trailer park who sees the Virgin Mary talking from his TV set. But traditionally, the people who had visions were common folk, so I'm not sure why the Vatican ignores these miraculous accounts coming out of the countryside today. I think maybe it gives them the creeps."
Scripture Professor, Aquinas Institute of Theology
"Remember, Jesus distinguished miracles from displays of magic. That said, soup kitchens feed multitudes daily on meager resources. Physicians enable those with arthritic joints to walk and those with cataracts to see. And these are only physical miracles. Many can testify to the non-physical variety, times when they had their 'mountains moved,' their 'storms calmed.' You really think biblical times had a monopoly on miracles? Dude!"
Co-owner, Eddie's American Diner
"I think miracles happen on occasion to people -- well, we may look at it as a miracle, but maybe it was just luck, you know?"
Welder, American Pulverizer
"Oh, they still happen! We just don't have the same news saturation that they had way back then. You know, they had the New Testament 24-hour cable news network. We don't have that. All we have are these third-rate media outlets -- CNN, what's that got to do with anything? Maybe if, instead of just four or five news organizations, we had the usual dozen they had back then, we'd hear about these miracles."
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