In today’s episode of “Yeesh, That Was Close,” Scooter Braun was recently sniffing around the idea of buying OnlyFans. Funny? Maybe. The plot twist nobody asked for? Absolutely, and I for one am breathing a sigh of relief that we collectively dodged that particular bullet.
So who the hell is this cat with the cartoon character name? Scooter Braun is a music mogul and talent manager who takes credit for discovering Justin Bieber. He’s recently divested himself from more of his management duties, bu0t he’s still got a stupid amount of money in the bank(s), more power than any one person should be bestowed, and always manages to be in the room where chaos happens. According to recent reports, he was in talks to buy OnlyFans, because nothing says “I support creator empowerment” quite like OnlyFans being owned by the billionaire middleman who bought Taylor Swift’s masters for her first six albums despite knowing she was trying to buy them herself.
Scooter Braun has also recently garnered notice because of who he’s dating. Sydney Sweeney is the Emmy-nominated actress from “Euphoria” and “The White Lotus” who is known for her bombshell image, giant eyes, old-Hollywood-esque energy, and for taking on roles that send men into some sort of feral collapse state. She was engaged to her longtime boyfriend, Jonathan Davino, but alas, that has recently ended. She became romantically linked almost immediately to Scooter, which isn’t sketchy at all. Social media’s had quite the time connecting dots, shading trajectories, and asking whether this alleged coupling is a rebound for Sweeney, a PR pipeline for Braun, or some ridiculous cosmic joke. Personally, I think it’s option C: all of the above. There’s also a weird power dynamic in play here. Sweeney gives off serious “America’s sweetheart” vibes, and Scooter Braun is one of Hollywood’s more controversial execs who just happens to be a decade and a half older than his current love interest.
Anyhow, the news that Braun was in talks to buy OnlyFans recently became public. Around the same time we learned that horrifying bit of information, you could hear content creators everywhere breathe a collective sigh of relief when the news that the deal was a no-go made the rounds. To reiterate, the man who bought Taylor Swift’s masters—while knowing she wanted to buy them for herself—wanted to be the owner of the largest creator empowerment platform on the internet? Like, imagine logging in to manage your OnlyFans page, and you have to agree to Scooter Effing Braun’s Terms and Conditions in order to work. No thanks. Bullet: dodged. Whole freaking magazine: dodged.
Of all the places where a billionaire with a proven track record of screwing over women entrepreneurs doesn’t belong, he doesn’t belong at the helm of OnlyFans the most. That kind of power grab would have been a huge betrayal for a platform that is supposed to be creator-led, and would be in line with Braun’s existing track record of acquiring things without asking the people involved first. There’s an ongoing tension between digital sex-work communities and corporate interests trying to sanitize and exploit their success, and Braun not walking away with ownership on this one is a big win for creators.
To Sydney: honey, I hope he’s at least funny in person, ’cause he had the internet stressed. OnlyFans creators in particular can catch their breath and relax for a minute, knowing that Braun’s fingerprints are nowhere near OnlyFans HQ. OnlyFans is safe from Scooter Braun for now, and hopefully it stays that way.
