Those of us whose parents taught them table manners had our moment last week when 90 Day Fiancé: The Last Resort aired its second episode of its third season. 90 Day alumni are gathered at one of Henry VIII’s castles for two weeks of intensive therapy, pub crawls on TLC’s dime, and petty drama with people other than their spouse. The second episode brought us to a formal English banquet, where head therapist Persia Lawson called out individuals for etiquette infractions and poor behavior toward their spouses. Cotillion graduates rejoice: The Venn diagram of shitty spouses and people who overhand grip their fork is a circle.
Reality TV editors can only make a gal look as messy as she is. One 90 Day wife got a shady side-eye edit for her table manners as well as her behavior toward her man. Kara Bass, who “produces” “music” under the name Kara Leona, was caught on camera chewing with her mouth open. She and aspiring pilot husband Guillermo Rojer have been separated for over a year, amid cheating scandals and career conflicts. At this point, they seem united only by the love of their young son.
Kara and Guillermo have long split the audience’s reactions. Some say Kara is a predatory party girl who brought her young and hung vacation fling home with her only to make him a dependent. Like most millennials, she has cobbled together a career from side hustles instead of a deeply specialized resumé.
It won’t surprise anyone that someone who brought their love life onto a TV show is the kind of person who likes to get paid for getting attention. Before Kara met Guillermo, she sought attention/money as a voiceover actress, balloon artist, and vocalist. I think she was also some kind of “hot girl realtor” but honestly, once someone lists off their third job, I just say “good for you, bossbabe!” and move on. They think it’s giving ~serial entrepreneur~ but it actually reads as Hot Mess.
Before the couples took their seats at the table, they were asked to compliment each other. Persia asked Guillermo if he is proud of Kara. He said no, and refused to elaborate. But when pressed at the dinner table, he confessed that some of Kara’s life choices hurt his trust in his wife deeply and were made against his wishes. Namely, her OnlyFans account (it wasn’t named specifically, but like…we know where you’re selling lewds, girl). She swore she wouldn’t sell nudes. But then she started partying, then she got caught at her ex-situationship’s house at 4am, and then her marriage to Guillermo imploded (none of these events are related, I swear!), and there’s just no work for a realtor/artist/singer/voiceover/actress…so, in her own best dinner table words, “the tits came out.”
And what is a party girl to do, when she controls 100% of the finances and only has 17 other income streams to fall back on?
Clearly, we’re the last people to shame anyone for having an OnlyFans account. Express yourself, get your bag, help someone else feel a little less lonely on this burning, spinning rock we call a home planet.
But if you’re lucky enough to find someone who genuinely wants to make good on their vow to love you forever, put that person first. Your other side hustles will be there.
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