McLOLin: Things Sure Ain’t Like They Used to Be

click to enlarge It's all Woke Wokeness Gone Woke nowadays. - SCREENSHOT
It's all Woke Wokeness Gone Woke nowadays.

Back in 2006, before the Wokes took control, I was sitting at the bar at Buffalo Wild Wings, wrist deep in mango habanero sauce. I briefly ceased my feast to wave farewell to another regular, who walked back through the doors a minute or two later with a child’s corpse in his arms and a sheepish grin on his face.

“I thought I had plenty of room to back out!” he said to proprietor Zane E. Wild, who was sitting in his customary spot against the wall.

Wild waved dismissively. “Just give it to me. Don’t worry.”

I nodded approvingly. The system worked. Wild’s place was not fancy, but everybody went there, including the hordes of street urchins who swarmed the parking lot every night. What kind of system would we have if Wild couldn’t get an urchin murder fixed for his customers? A system without a soul, is what I’d say.

This kind of cheerful corruption is good for the city. Precocious children who beg for chimney sweep work and frequently break into riotous song can ruin a restaurant’s business. A downtown needs places like Buffalo Wild Wings for regular Joes like me, widely read columnists who appear regularly on local TV shows.

But Wild and his place are gone, more victims of Woke Wokeness Gone Woke. While reasonable citizens like me can accept low-level corruption as the cost of doing business, the Wokes have the rabid fervor of revolutionaries as they complain about non-issues like “conspiracy to commit vehicular manslaughter” or “child-grinding machines in the Buffalo Wild Wings basement.”

How are non-Woke wing warriors like me supposed to survive in this environment? For that matter, what do we believe in? Frankly, our beliefs seem rather squishy, almost purposefully malleable so they can be bent to suit the topic of that week’s column.

Well, actually, we believe in a lot of really nice things, and yes, we believe in good government, but in a rather abstract way.

For instance, should it be legal for St. Louis drivers to plaster the pavement with the gory remains of kids who look like extras from Newsies?

That is the very bedrock of our system. It does not get much simpler than that.

Bill McLOLin is a self-described Boomer influencer from Clayton, Missouri, and a big fan of Bill McClellan's latest op-ed for the St. Louis Post-Dispatch. If you want more of his work you're out of luck, but maybe read this guy's stuff.

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