Pretty in Acid-Wash Denim

What’s this flyer for? “That ´80s Club presents the 1987 Hoosier Prom.” What the hell? Dang, dude. That’s, like, eighteen years ago. Back when we was in high school! Best six years of my life, dude. Do it all over again in a heartbeat, you know? Hell yes I would! Still got them same acid-wash jeans, still got the Camaro, still got the KSHE half-shirt with them sleeves ripped off! Put on my best headband and snakeskin boots and walk in and be like, “Suck it, kids! King o’ the School back for seconds!” Pick me a new queen, though. Shoot, my ol’ lady used to look like Stevie Nicks, now she looks like…well, she looks like Stevie looks now. Kinda gross.

“$100 cash prize for Prom King and Prom Queen?!” Dude, that’s like, three months of cable! Where’s this place? “Rue 13, 1313 Washington Avenue. More information at www.that80sclub.com?” Hell, I should be president o’ that club! I ever tell you ´bout the time I met Molly Hatchet? Best county-fair show I ever saw! “Party starts at 9 p.m.; ten bucks to get in.” Shoot, that’s steep. But it’ll be worth it when I win. Rock on, Phil Nugent Jr.! Eyes on the prize! Get the Camaro washed, roll up, roll in, party like a big dog, roll out a hundred bucks richer! Rock on!
Fri., May 18