Salute the Dynasty

The rules of the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame dictate that a band is eligible for induction 25 years after the release of its first album. KISS’ first album came out in 1974 -- and KISS is not in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. But Billy Joel is in. No offense to Billy -- wait, on second thought, go suck a crap nugget, Billy -- but how the hell is KISS not in that useless hall? MF-ing KISS. Destroyer. Rock & Roll Over. Alive. You could give any one of those albums to an alien visitor and say, “This is rock & roll,” and they’d know what you meant. But disrespect for KISS’ contributions to American culture is nothing new. Back in the ´70s, Bill Starkey was an Indiana kid who wanted to hear his favorite band on the radio. When the station refused, Starkey and a friend created the KISS Army and immediately mobilized to fight for KISS. It’s been an endless battle, but the KISS Army is making progress on all fronts. Today from 1 to 8 p.m., Starkey and the Army convene at the Holiday Inn Southwest & Viking Conference Center (Watson Road and Lindbergh Boulevard, Sunset Hills; www.kissarmywarehouse.com) for the 2007 St. Louis KISS Expo. There, you can mingle with the foot soldiers of an ever-growing force, share stories, buy KISS merchandise (pretty much everything in the world can be manufactured with a KISS logo, thanks to St. Gene Simmons) and just enjoy the camaraderie of your brethren. Former KISS guitarist Bruce Kulick makes an appearance, if that sweetens the pot. Admission is $20 to $25, and the VIP tickets ($25 to $30) gets you in an hour earlier. Mount up and move out.
Sun., June 24