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Thursday, February 11, 2016

Public Sex in St. Louis? RFT Readers Tell All

Posted By on Thu, Feb 11, 2016 at 12:54 PM

Page 2 of 3

ST. LOUIS SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA
  • St. Louis Symphony Orchestra
Next up, we have a selection of stories from "Dave," a cultured gentleman who apparently likes to mix his classical music with coatroom shtupping. 

Once I was at the St. Louis Symphony with a date, and during the first half we noticed some empty boxes in the balconies. When intermission came we snuck up to one of the boxes and, upon entering, discovered they included an entry room with chairs and tables. As the music began, she suggested visiting the second room for some adult fun. As we were finishing our interlude the coat rack was knocked over, banging into the door loudly. This brought an usher knocking on the door as we hurriedly redressed. Eventually he burst in and seeing the looks of guilt on our faces began to scold us on proper behavior at the symphony.

Yeah, Dave doesn't seem like a guy who responds to scolding — even when it's being delivered by a police officer. 
There was one time my date and I were making out in the water at Lake St. Louis and the police showed up. We were wrapped around each other in four feet of water and enjoying the throes of passion when suddenly we were hit with the glare of a spotlight. This creepy cop is standing next to our pile of clothes saying, "What'cha two doing?" and smiling like a serial killer. He made us leave the lake and show him our IDs, all the while scoping out my date and not allowing us to get dressed. He eventually had his fill and left us with the admonishment to "find a room someplace."

Yikes. It sounds like that cop needs to find a room someplace, maybe one where he stocks American Eagle jeans instead of wearing a badge. Still, Dave clearly has a knack for finding an audience.
Once I was dating a lady and we went to a drive in out in the country, 30 minutes from south county. My date was trying too hard to be wild and was attempting to perform road head, which was a little dangerous late at night on the winding two-lane road. I finally pulled off on what I thought was a gravel road, pulled her out and went at it on the car's hood. As we finished up, suddenly we heard clapping and turned in the direction of the sound to see several people sitting on a porch about 50 feet away. Somehow, we did not notice that we had pulled into a private drive and parked by a house.

D'oh! 

Up next: Bumbling park sex and City Museum sex-nanigans!

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