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Thursday, June 22, 2017

15 Ways You Know It's Summer in St. Louis

Posted By on Thu, Jun 22, 2017 at 1:47 PM

click to enlarge Fair St. Louis: the proper way to spend the 4th of July in St. Louis. - PHOTO COURTESY OF FLICKR / PAUL SABLEMAN
  • Photo courtesy of Flickr / Paul Sableman
  • Fair St. Louis: the proper way to spend the 4th of July in St. Louis.
There's nothing quite like summer in St. Louis. Sure, other cities experience the dreadful humidity, but there are some elements that make experiencing the season here so, well, St. Louis. From overdosing on frozen custard to fighting the masses at Fair St. Louis, here are 15 ways you know it's summer in St. Louis:

1. You hear the inhuman "Hello!" brayed out by the ice cream truck in your dreams.

2. The Arch is finally hot enough to be flattened into a horseshoe for Anheuser-Busch's most sizable Clydesdale.

3.You feel the pressing need to make amends with your asshole neighbor. You know, the one with the pool?

4. $14 for a cold brew at Busch Stadium suddenly doesn't seem that expensive since the alternative is heatstroke.

5. Your car smells like suntan lotion even when you're not wearing it.

6. Your pork steak consumption levels are up by a full 25 percent.

7. You ask your priest to put in a good word for your air conditioner.

8. You wonder why it's a good idea to join masses of people overcome by sweat, humidity and overpriced fried food at Fair St. Louis every year. You go anyway.

9. You're thinking of starting a blog to review the city's snow cone stands.

10. Your trip to the St. Louis Zoo is a carnival of sticky children and dead-eyed parents mouthing "help me" at the sea lions.

11. You get so overheated at night that watching 3 a.m. Brown & Brown infomercials becomes preferable to sleep.

12. Forest Park is suddenly crowded with people vying for seats at the Muny.

13. Despite the heat, outdoor movies become the trendy way to get your film fix.

14. Making a trip to one of Missouri's swimming spots becomes a productive use of gas.

15. You're making your third trip to Ted Drewes this week... and it's only Tuesday. #noregrets

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