Wednesday, October 11, 2017

Brad Pitt Once Threatened a 'Missouri Whooping' on Harvey Weinstein

Posted By on Wed, Oct 11, 2017 at 4:23 PM

Brad Pitt, the "BR" and half the "A" of now-dissolving celebrity power couple Brangelina, once threatened film producer and gross sack of crap Harvey Weinstein with a "Missouri Whooping" over Weinstein's treatment of Pitt's then-girlfriend Gwyneth Paltrow.

People reports that in 1995, which can be thought of as Peak Pitt (Seven and 12 Monkeys were both released that year), Pitt approached Weinstein at a Hollywood party with some harsh words.

Weinstein, who apparently sometimes masturbates into potted plants in front of trapped women, had allegedly made unwanted sexual advances on Paltrow in a hotel suite when she was 22, after Weinstein had hired her for Emma. Paltrow had told the New York Times that the meeting ended with Weinstein putting his hands on her and suggesting a massage.

And no man from Missouri is going to put up with that.

“Brad threatened Harvey,” the source tells People. “He got right in his face, poked him in the chest and said, ‘You will not ever do this to Gwyneth ever again.’"

Just to let Weinstein know he meant business, Pitt, who was raised in Springfield and almost graduated from Mizzou (so close!), then told Weinstein that he'd be getting a "Missouri Whooping" if he didn't heed this warning.

[Editor's note: A Missouri Whooping, as all natives know, is when you throw a handful of fertile, nutrient-rich soil into your opponent's eyes, and then, while they're blinded, entomb their body in a cave. A variant of the move is also known as "Pertussis Robustis," which is when you back a guy against the wall and pour Robitussin down his throat until he's stupid enough to live in south central Missouri. The "slow and low" version involves copious amounts of ham, bacon, fried cheese and salt; when properly administered, the victim will no longer be able to pass a GED test.]

"He made it absolutely clear this was not going to happen again and it didn’t,” the source tells People. “At first Harvey tried to explain, then he stopped and listened and got the message.”

Weinstein has been accused in recent weeks of sexual assault and misconduct by more than twenty women, including Paltrow, Angelina Jolie and Ashley Judd. The board of directors of the Weinstein Company, which Weinstein founded in 2005, voted this week to fire him.

Pretty sure they call that a "Hollywood Whooping" around those parts.

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