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Tuesday, January 16, 2018

Dinosaur Lurches to Life in the Delmar Loop, Confronts Stegosaurus

Posted By on Tue, Jan 16, 2018 at 6:44 AM

click to enlarge COURTESY UTE LEVI
A reader sent us this pic from the Delmar Loop. Sources indicate that removing the stegosaurus will take another five years and $500,000.

Ah, but we jest! Although it is true that RFT reader Ute Levi sent us this picture earlier this month, proving the Loop trolley is both up and running and confronting the hazards one might expect on a busy stretch of street in a city that saw its best days around 1904. After confirming with our two Photoshop experts, we can say that the dinosaur is in fact real, and it's goddamn fantastic.

The Stegosaurus, more commonly known as a "Thagomizer," goes by the name of Gary, and he's more sangfroid than you'd think. "Yeah, I'm not bothered. That thing's going slowly, so I give it a taste of my tail. Stopped it dead. Who's driving it, a mammal?"

He added, "You, uh, know anything about this weather? It was nice and warm for a while there, then it got lethally cold. I'm all about global warming, bruh. All right, take it sleazy."

Loop Trolley officials refused to comment on whether they have the know-how and money to deal with Gary, simply saying, "Kid's a nuisance."

Gary, who dates back to the Jurassic period, adds that he's simply blown away by the district’s new state-of-the-art sci-fi futuristic transportation option.

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