Monday, September 16, 2019

Mower Queen Proves There Are No Rules to Driving in St. Louis

Posted By on Mon, Sep 16, 2019 at 1:17 PM

click to enlarge If you can't roll fast and frightening, try slow and scary. - COURTNEY SCHOPP BOYLE
  • If you can't roll fast and frightening, try slow and scary.

Just look at her. No hands on the wheel. Limbs soaking up the sun. Majestic silver mane blowing in the breeze. She is powerful. She is woman. She is the Mower Queen.

This unicorn-haired rebel was spotted in Fenton yesterday driving a riding lawnmower down the street without a care in the world. Here she is pictured at the intersection of 141 and Gravois Bluffs Road just living her best life.

click to enlarge COURTNEY SCHOPP BOYLE

Had she just bought that mower from one of the many retail locations in the area and was driving it home? Maybe she’d had a few and — taking a tip from Soulard residents and their stupid golf carts — decided she’d better not get behind the wheel of a car. Or maybe she was just out enjoying an afternoon of cruising before gas prices go crazy.

In any case, she is not alone in her alternative manner of driving. Getting in a regular ol’ car and obeying all traffic rules is just not how things are done in St. Louis.

This weekend St. Louis saw a rash of wild riders on our streets and highways. In addition to the regular end-of-summer onslaught of motorcycles, mini bikes, scooters, golf carts and ATVs stunting on city streets, the “Ride of the Century” (a large gathering of motorcycle and ATV riders) went down over the weekend, causing many to clutch their pearls or flee the city entirely.

Like, what’s the difference between an ATV and a riding lawnmower, anyway? They both have four wheels and they’re both pretty sweet to ride. If anything, a mower is even cooler because it can do a job, too. If you ride a mower across a field, you’re doing work. But if you ride an ATV across a field, you’re just a hoosier. Mowers FTW.

Mower Queen, you’ve won our hearts. Thank you for representing the St. Louis way of life out there in the mean streets of Fenton. You were born to be wild. Respect.

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