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Friday, December 27, 2019

Saint Louis Ballet's The Nutcracker as Reviewed by a Kindergartner

Posted By on Fri, Dec 27, 2019 at 10:38 AM

click to enlarge Our critic poses for a quick photo before the performance. - CHERYL BAEHR
  • Cheryl Baehr
  • Our critic poses for a quick photo before the performance.

Editor's Note: This holiday season, we recruited Riverfront Times restaurant critic Cheryl Baehr's daughter, Coretta, to review Saint Louis Ballet's annual production of The Nutcracker. What follows are Coretta's (mostly) unedited thoughts on the holiday classic.

I wanted to go to The Nutcracker because I used to be in ballet for three years and I didn’t really like it the last time. I want to see it to see if I want to do it again.

This is our Christmas tradition, like last year when my mom made blueberry muffins for Christmas. Remember that? They weren’t that good. (Editor’s note: They were, in fact, quite good.) We do this every year. I really like the place we go to [the Touhill] because the seats are so velvety.

The Nutcracker is about Clara, who has this dream. She’s, like, with a nutcracker and she really went to this place while she was sleeping but she was kind of awake. At first, there were these evil mice fighting with the good people. Then the evil mice king falls asleep and the good people win.

Then, there are these ice princesses who are dancing well, after the mice it’s intermission and you can get hot chocolate. I like it because it’s the kind of hot chocolate that I like: Not too chocolatey, but like medium chocolatey. And it wasn’t too hot, so I didn’t have to wait to drink it.

Anyway, after intermission the Sugar Plum Fairy is there. She’s nice. She’s a princess. Then it’s the end of the show. Well, there are people dancing after the Sugar Plum Fairy is on. She was my favorite part, though, because her dress is sparkly and she has this pretty wand. She did a good job. Really, all the costumes were sparkly, except for Clara’s. It wasn’t a problem, though, because every costume is different.

My other favorite part was when Clara was sleeping. No! My favorite was when Clara was at the Sugar Plum Fairy’s castle because everyone was dancing for her. They all did a good job.

I didn’t really like that the mice were evil. I would like them to be nice. It’s not scary, though — not even the mice. They are just mean people and they do bad stuff, but they don’t show what they do, so it’s not scary. And they throw cheese. If you go there, make sure you catch a piece of cheese because you get a prize; it’s a sticker of a picture.

That’s it. Bye.

click to enlarge Clearly she's a fan. - CHERYL BAEHR
  • Cheryl Baehr
  • Clearly she's a fan.

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